Mental Ramblings

3 Words

2010-04-29T23:24:00.001-05:00

GroceryGame (dot) com

Changes: GOOD ONES!

2010-04-09T12:07:00.002-05:00

I've talked about changes and making changes and decisions that go along with change.

Hopefully, we will be making some changes that will benefit us as a family soon. I feel like this a God thing! He's already done great things in our family, and it's just patience I need; He does things on His own and perfect time table.

Not only will it benefit us as a family, but I think it will totally help me get my act together and Jesus start looking healthy again! He's lost weight and he's tall so it's real noticeable and not so healthy looking. This change will definitely fill him out some, at least!

Attached at the Hip

2010-03-27T12:28:00.002-05:00

My goodness! If I could run at this point, I SO DEFINITELY would!!

No wonder I can't be my own person!!

I can't have fun without the attached one, not even detachable to have fun with my sister!

You would think I'm nursing a newborn again!

I'm screaming and pulling my hair out on the inside; my outside is so cool, calm, collected, and happy and in a good mood... This can't be healthy!

2010-03-25T09:36:00.002-05:00

We took a trip last weekend, just the 2 of us with 4 other couples. We left the kids behind in good hands. First time ever to leave the kids more than one night!

However, the transferring of the kids was not good, but for unrelated reasons. When they were picked up, everything was done and they were gone, but when we picked up them up, it was such an ugly experience that left me in depressed state.

We were practically ignored and felt very unwelcome. Part of it is my fault just for being there, but mainly it's the behavior that is chosen by those who impart the negative.... well, let's just say the "negativeness".

Anyway, yes, it left me in such a down mood that I still can't shake. Today is Thursday, this happened on Sunday; 4 days. It is horrible; I feet it in the pit of my stomach. I think a lot of it is guilt, that it's partly my fault, but also that it hurts someone close to me. No one deserves to be treated the way we were treated.

So I'm just at a loss as to what to do. The kids love these people and since nothing is their fault, it is unfair that they be forbidden to see them. On the other hand, why should we put up with such rude and mean behavior? I think in the long run, the kids will pick up on the behavior and resent them, but I don't want that either. I think in long run, it will confuse them too and start asking questions that may be answered inappropriately by the other party...

If it were just me, it would be easy: DO NOT EVER SEEK THEM, DO NOT EVER SEE THEM, AND FORGET I EVER MET THEM. Unfortunately, it's not that easy.

2010-03-14T00:30:00.002-06:00

The last time I can remember that I was mad enough to kill someone, I was a teenager in high school.

I remember the occasion well. I was between boyfriends and there was one guy I really liked. We had talked and hung out before and the feeling was mutual. However, the guy with whom I'd broken up (he actually dumped me) was my dad's, and my mom's for that matter, favorite guy. The guy I liked was not. This guy had a huge family and not one that my parents were very fond of. There was always something happening with them, like a rivalry with another family, cops; trouble was all my parents could see.

When the guy finally asked me out on a date, I was ecstatic! I was so happy and I knew I'd be the envy of every girl in my little clique! Which, in retrospect, I think is all I really cared about. So when I told my parents, they were not so thrilled. I told mom first and she said I could go if it was okay with my dad. Well, of course it wasn't. He wanted me to go back to dating the other guy! It's not like I was the one who had dumped him and I wasn't going to just let my whole world stop because of him! Anyway, my dad said no and meant it.

I was so mad I cried! Now, I'm not a crier but I was livid that my dad didn't want to let me go out with this boy! Did he not know I would make every girl jealous?? Did he really think he was so bad?? Did he not know how angry I was with him?? I hated my dad in that moment. How could he do this to me?? He put his foot down, and it was down, locked in concrete. Nothing was changing his mind, and it didn't.

I went in my room and cried and cried! I wanted to be the envy. I wanted to know what it was like to be his girlfriend if even for a single date. My chest was heavy and my heart was pounding. I was physically mad and angry that I couldn't go on one single date with this guy that I liked, selfishly. I don't think I ever wanted a serious relationship with him. I just wanted to date the guy every girl I knew wanted! And when I didnt get to, it affected me physically.

Today, I was affected physically. I've never been this mad... I screamed and I cried and if I hadn't had on my seat belt, I would have kicked somebody's butt! While it felt good to let out the anger I felt welling up inside, I don't like to be mad like that. However, this time it wasn't because I was prevented, forbidden something, it was because I wasn't being heard.

All I want is to be heard. All I want is acknowledgment; that I'm not stupid for feeling the way I do.

Everything in me exploded! I felt like I couldn't breathe, claustrophobic (which I'm not), my voice turned hoarse because I couldn't scream any louder, my heart was pounding, I wanted to throw myself on the ground and kick, I wanted to break something (a nose perhaps?), I wanted to run away and never come back, I wanted to die, I wanted to be heard. I felt like a 3 year old. How embarrassing.

But, sometimes, feelings are a hard thing to understand, and when all i want is something simple, black and white, no feelings involved, and still not heard, it's hard to take.

I'm going to have a heart attack one day if this keeps up... I don't know what I'm supposed to do... I'm so tired of being ignored; tired of negativity; tired of being down; I want to be heard; I want to be acknowledged; I'm a "glass is half full" type of person and I hate "glass is half empty" type people who want to bring me down.

I want to be heard and acknowledged, period. The rest is cake.

This Bites

2010-03-07T17:47:00.003-06:00

I'm one who believes things happen for a reason... People come into one's life for a reason.

And for a while I had been trying to figure out why one person in particular did randomly come into my life for a very short, brief moment in my life. That moment stirred up so much in my life and in me.

I realized exactly what I want and that I deserve what I want.

But that's not the reason this person came into my life, I have recently figured out. That random person happened to push a situation into a crisis mode. Had it not been done, I don't think things would have changed, and not that they have, but at least has brought some things and some of my feelings into the open.

Those things are waiting to be fixed and changed for the better. It's a matter of attitude...

Yet More Decisions

2010-01-09T16:06:00.002-06:00

You know, I'm one who likes change. However, the single SOLITARY thing I hate about it is that sometimes the change you want or crave can only come about after making a decision. Sometimes those decisions are easy to make and everyone is on board. Other times the decisions you make could hurt those around you.

I'm at one of the "other times" decisions. Do I sacrifice myself for the "greater good"? Do I suck it up? Or do I do what I need to do? If I do what I need to do, will everything and everyone be okay with my in the long run?

In the previous post, I mentioned the decision had been made for me. I undid that because I thought it was too hasty. This decision is a very large decision that will affect not only me, but my family for the rest of our lives! Yes! It's life changing! something like this can't just be done.

I must do my homework, see if there might be another way that satisfies my need or want for change. I don't want to cause turmoil in my family for years to come. My desire for this change will only be satisfied as a last resort, even if I don't want it to be; I want to do it now!

More Decisions

2009-11-25T16:23:00.003-06:00

The decision I was debating in a previous post has been made for me... And I can't say I'm not relieved.

It is actually like taking out the first stitch to unravel. There is lots of unraveling to be done, but thankfully it will be pleasant.

So, can you unravel and start a new project with the unraveled material??

I'm also cutting the string on one project and starting over to start on a better one... But I don't know where to start the new project...

Will the projects fit??

I may start changing a few things on the blog soon...

Decisions Decisions

2009-11-11T18:08:00.004-06:00

Oh, I've just been a nut case lately!

I have issues. And I tend to blame people closest to me when it really gets to me... I know it's not right and I hate it, and I know there's no one to blame but myself. I've dragged people here and I hate it.

I hate it most because now that my bad decision making is kicking my behind, I'm just someone I don't know. I'm myself when I hear things that describe the real me; yes, when I'm reminded. So I'm mad that more people don't remind me. Fair?? No, I know it's not.

So I want to undo my bad decisions, but I don't want to hurt people. And if my decisions are undone, then I have to make new decisions and they need to be GREAT decisions in order for my undoings to have been worth it! But who or what's to say that my future decisions will be great? Who's to say that my undoing "bad" decisions is not a bad decision? What if it is?? There wouldn't be any turning back to re-do the original bad decisions... that's kinda scary. Especially when the future holds no promises.

What a vicious cycle! In un-doing bad decisions, I drag people with me!

Holy Moly!

2009-09-21T15:40:00.002-05:00

My last post was in July!! I can't believe that! I guess I've just been busy with real estate and kids and BestBuy. Yeah, that nightmare is lingering...

Anyway, I've got a Beth Moore Bible study I'm doing at ASC and I really should be doing that instead of this post--I started a week late and really really need to catch up! I have a new listing (a little more on that later on Agent Ali) and I've been busy with that, as well as some training classes, and working on picking up some new clients!

We have great baby-sitter this semester! She can put the kids to bed for naptime on time, and the kids love her! Daniel daydreams about her and Celeste wants to go over to her house all the time. I guess she wants to return the favor!

Jesus is working a 2nd job to help us make ends meet. He really is the best a girl could possibly ask for. GOD broke the mold when He made my Sweet Pea. I am truly blessed with way more than I deserve with my wonderful husband. I wish he could say the same about me, but I'm working on that!

Anyway, just wanted to let y'all know I'm still here! We're okay and I'll be posting again!

Blog Hop: Recipe >> Homemade Flour Tortillas

2009-07-21T17:15:00.004-05:00

YUMMY!

Homemade Flour Tortillas...My family loves these! Give 'em a try and tell me what you think! This recipe has been handed down from generation to generation and I'm sure (I hope) Naomi will someday be cooking these for her family!

Ingredients:
5 C all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 stp baking powder
3/4 C pre-creamed shortening
1 1/2 C hot water

Directions:
1. Combine flour, salt, baking powder, and shortening in large mixing bowl. I like to combine by hand, but you may prefer to use a pastry cutter. Either way, make sure you get all the big lumps out so you have a crumb-like state.

2. Add 1 cup of water and the additional 1/2 cup as needed. Knead the dough until soft and does not stick to your hand. You want a nice, moist dough. The dough should be cleaned off your hands by the kneading process.

3. Cover the dough with plastic wrap and set aside for 15-20 minutes.

4. Take small pieces of dough and form small "rounds" until all dough is used.

5. Heat griddle on medium heat. P.S. I use a cast iron griddle, and those work best for tortillas.

6. Roll out your tortillas! Lightly flour your "rounds" so they don't stick to your surface or rolling pin. If you roll them too thin, you'll get brittle tortillas; too thick, you'll get biscuit-like tortillas. You'll get it as you go! No worries!

7. Place your tortilla on the griddle and cook for about 30 seconds, or until slightly bubbly, and flip. Cook for about a 45-60 seconds or until there are no translucent spots. Flip once more and cook for about 30-45 seconds.

Makes about 2 dozen tortillas. Enjoy with queso or guacamole! I personally love avocado burritos! :o)

On Her Weeklong Visit

2009-07-20T22:24:00.003-05:00

Well, Aunt Flo has made her appearance, once again....

Now that she's made her appearance, I can tell you that I was not so certain she would make her appearance. That's probably another reason why it was so stressful!

It's crazy how it's a relief in more ways than one, even if we all don't like her monthly visits... I feel so much better! Hubby isn't annoying me, the kids are acting up, but I can handle it a lot better, and I just feel sooo muuucchhh better!! I don't like her hanging around, but it'll be okay...

I feel so much better, I even wanted to work out today! But since I was locked out of the garage, where my workout ball is stashed (and has been for sometime), and I spent most of the allotted time to trying to get in, I didn't get to work out. One, I wasn't able to get in; two, the kids were up by then and it's just not fun trying to work out on the workout ball and they think it's fun bouncing on each side of it while mommy is on it trying to build some killer abs!!

But you know what?? I wasn't annoyed!

I feel so much better, I even let the kids play in 3 (I think) day old kiddie pool water (not wade or sit in, that would be gross!) and let them chunk some of their sandturtle sand in it even though it costs way too much to replace.

And you know what?? I wasn't pulling my hair out!

I feel more adequate than I did a week ago...I feel empowered. I feel like I'm up to par today, even in my 2 day old pony tail and too tight short shorts and comfy maternity shirt (remember, Aunt Flo's here!). Not a Not Me Monday today! This is it!

And what's even better, but really not, but it is because I'm not stressing is that I'm not stressing over past due bills...We'll get through this somehow...And I have faith because of a little unexpected phone call I got today...

I think GOD made it so because He knows how stressed we have been about our depleted funds. I feel like I was lead to do something one day I was at a Sonic picking up a couple of medium cherry limeades. Let me tell you the little story...Stick with me okay...

A couple of weeks ago, I offered to grab my officemate a drink from the fridge upstairs. She declined saying she'd just made her daily Sonic stop. she proceeded to tell me they know her by name and they giver her free medium drink coupons for being such a loyal customer and "here's a couple for you!"

How great! I could go to Sonic now and get me something off the dollar menu and get a free drink! I could get something and not be hungry again in an hour with one dollar! Thanks, ann!

then on Saturday I worked all day long and thought I'd use my free coupon and grab something at Sonic. But I asked the only other lady at the office at the time if she wanted something from Sonic. She did...and when she started looking for spare change, I told her it was okay, I had an extra free Q for that.

As I was waiting for my order, I happened to look at a little stack of business cards I now have in my car and thought I'd stick one on the Sonic menu...

Yup, God. He's good.

Three Things You Didn't Know About Me

2009-07-14T17:02:00.008-05:00

I'm doing this MckLinky Blog Hop and this is my first time, so I'm trying it out! Each week we have a theme and then all the participating blogs are linked together on one list- that one list is posted and shared on all the participating blogs. So here goes!

1) While it's common knowledge to those around me and those who aren't very quickly learn that my favorite drink is Sprite. It goes great with everything I eat and it's hits the spot when I'm thirsty! I drink it like some drink Dr. Pepper or Diet Coke. I'll drink anything that has Sprite in it, including Cherry Limeades from Sonic, and punch from scratch.

2) I have freakishly long and skinny fingers! Because they are so long, when I stretch my fingers out, they bow slightly. Maybe not slightly--if I lay my hand on a flat surface and stre-e-tch out, only my palm is on the table and not my fingers... Weird, I know. And Naomi inherited my fingers!3) My best feature is my hair. I think this is the first time I've ever admitted that. I've always always received compliments on my hair, but because I have to work so hard to get it to do what I want, I always thanked and thought to myself, yeah, right! But I've learned how to handle my hair with it's crazy wave and all! It takes me only 30 minutes (as opposed to the hour and a half) to fix it, and on lazy days, I stick mousse in it and it's has great curl!

So there you have it! You know 3 more things about me!

Now click on the links below and tell me about you!

Don't forget to comment so I know you stopped by and I'll return the favor! :o)

The Story of Naomi Celeste

2009-07-13T22:03:00.006-05:00

We got a phone call from my brother about one and a half years after Jesus and I were married; he'd only been married about 6-9 months. He had big news for us: They were pregnant.

I was sad, maybe even jealous. I'd been trying to talk Jesus into trying for a baby since October-ish 2006, and I finally convinced him late December or early January. So we were trying to get pregnant when we got the news in about early March.

How come my little brother gets to have a baby and not me?! (POUT!-in case you missed that!)

We got a blue-norther the first 2 days of May and I caught a nasty cold that left me in bed! It wasn't the flu, just a horrible head cold. On the morning I went back to work from being so friggin sick, I took another pregnancy test.

And guess what I saw?? A big bright pink + !! YaY!

My pregnancy symptoms started out with that horrible cold, and I slept all of my first trimester...I would even nod off at work!! I went to the bathroom every hour, and I think I may have fallen asleep on the pot every now and then! TMI, sorry! :) But I never got morning sickness! Woohoo!

My second trimester was better...While I was still tired and sleepy all the time, it wasn't as bad. I ate lots of McDonald's fries and Pizza Hut pan crust pizza topped with extra cheese, pepperoni, bell peppers and onions. Real healthy huh?? I also craved water, room temperature water...at least that was healthy!

I didn't need maternity clothes until my 6th month. To some people, I blew up overnight!

During my third trimester I looked like a basketball on toothpicks! I didn't gain any weight except in my belly. I kept eating McD's and Pizza Hut, but added chicken flavored Ramen Noodles every day for lunch followed by a bowl of Fruity pebbles that I scarfed down so I had enough time for my 30 minute nap before going back to work...I'll have to tell you a story about that later!

I also had horrible heartburn, but you couldn't have guessed that from knowing all the oily, fatty food I was eating...

As I got closer to my due date, January 14, the sleepier I got. I kept telling my OBGYN that I didn't think I'd make it to January--Maybe 1st week of January...But first time mom's almost always go past their expected due date. Not to worry, he'd be back from his 2 week Christmas vacation in time for our baby.

By the way, we didn't find out what were going to have...

On December 31, my in-laws came over for my birthday, New Year's, and my BIL's birthday (1/1). We had a little b-dayNewYearsb-day party and I could barely stay awake to ring in 2006. As soon as they left I crashed out!

New Year's day, a Sunday, we went out to do some last minute baby shopping. We made a detour stop at Home Depot and I sat at one of their little (big) "step ladder" to get to the high shelves and fell asleep while hubby was doing his thing. We made a stop at Wal-Mart and I stayed in the car and hubby picked out a car seat/stroller combo because what I'd wanted we never found again and we were only 14 days away from having this baby! I slept in the car and didn't come to until hubby had undressed me and put me in my jammies...at 6 PM!!! I slept like a rock!

I woke up early and ever so energized and thankful the bank was closed so I didn't have to go to work...I had to pack my hospital bag, do laundry, clean, scrub the bath tub, toilet, clean, launder all the yellow baby clothes, clean, etc...

I went to the bathroom and I had weird discharge...Oh well, get on with cleaning! Then I leaked some peepee...Oh, this baby laying on my bladder...Change...clean...Sneeze! Change again! After about my fourth outfit, something dawned on me: this stuff may not be coming from my bladder...

I called the hubs, who was at work an hour away, at about 10 AM. I called my mommy who was out shopping with my sister in Lubbock, 2 hours away. My mom called my brother, the hubs called the in-laws, my bag was packed...Except I wasn't having any contractions, and my doctor still wasn't back from his Christmas vacation!!

The on-call doctor said to go to the hospital and get checked out, which I did hesitantly, after my mom practically begged me! My whole entourage loaded into 3 cars headed to Amarillo to the hospital.

Sure enough my water had broken. Since my episode had started at about 8 that morning and it was now 5 PM, the doctor ordered pitocin to induce contractions and speed up my labor, so as to prevent infection to the baby due to lack of amniotic fluid.

I had always wanted a natural birth, so I let them know that up front. I didn't want any meds. One nurse kept asking me if I wanted pain meds when my contractions became pretty intense. I was pretty irritated and let her know firmly that I would ask for them when I need them, and that was that.

Remember the entourage?? they were hanging out in my L&D room...Dad, brother, FIL, 3 BIL, 2 SIL, Mom, sister, MIL, and my almost 2 month old nephew. Somebody had to get them out! Thank goodness they did! Only my mommy and hubby were with me.

My contractions were so intense, I got sick...I didn't care. I was just trying to get through them...They came in waves that overtook my whole body and I was shaking. But I kept thinking: Surely, this next one can't be worse than the last one! And they always were, but it didn't occur to me that they were getting worse and I could have meds to make the pain go away...

And then I had to go poo! I had to go bad!! Before I knew it, nurses and the on-call doctor were all looking under the sheets and I couldn't hold it....

Out came baby! She weighed 6 lbs., 5 oz and was 21 inches long! That long skinny thing!

She was not as beautiful as I'd like to say...Remember the horrible heartburn?? People say heartburn indicates a hairy baby. Was she ever! She had a uni-brow that connected to her hair line and a hairy back.

When I got to hold her and be alone with her, this ever so intense gratefulness came over me. I don't remember when I've ever been so grateful. It was overwhelming. It took away all the insecurities I had about being a mom, and I had peace. I thanked GOD for her and for the wonderful experience of her birth. I loved her so much and it just took me by surprise...I couldn't control it....

I wanted to breastfeed and I did. Naomi Celeste had just a bit of trouble catching on, but nothing that wasn't corrected before we left the hospital...

After about 2 weeks all that extra hair fell out. But she was beautiful even with it! What baby is drop dead gorgeous 2 minutes from birth?!

I wish I had pics to share with you, but 1) my entourage got kicked out, and 2) the few I do have are on the PC and I'm on the laptop.

Thanks for reading this far! :)

PS My friend Shana actually finalized her name. We had Matthew picked out for a boy (Does that surprise you?), but couldn't decide on Naomi or Celeste. We originally didn't want a middle name because I don't have one and I was able to keep my maiden name as my middle name when we got married. Naomi Celeste never crossed our minds, and when Shana said: Just name her Naomi Celeste. (Like, duh!) And that was it!

My Pity Party

2009-07-12T23:15:00.004-05:00

I hate what I turn into right before Aunt Flo visits...

Continue at your own risk...

I don't get the physical symptoms, like bloating, but boy I get moody! I'm mad at Jesus, the kids annoy me to no end, and I want to be left alone to sulk in my misery!

However, this time, while Aunt Flo is just around the corner, there's other stuff adding to my moodiness.

1) Last week while playing in the back yard with the kids, Jesus noticed a nice size puddle. It didn't come from draining the kiddie pool or from over watering. We'd had problems before with our washer drain being plugged up, so I assumed that's what it was again. Jesus and Josh, my BIL, dug up the ground and found that it was not a draining problem, but a leak in the main line!

The joys of home ownership!

2) Jesus has stopped working OT and it has really hurt us...All funds have been depleted and I need to sell a house to stay afloat...

3) The rear AC in my Expedition clicks because it's going out and it annoys me!

4) Joey sheds all over the house and I can't take it, but I can't bring myself to make him an outdoor dog...

5) The garage sale didn't do as well as I'd hoped--None of the baby stuff sold! NONE OF IT!! And Jesus got mad at me for selling the 32 inch analog for $10...I know, I messed up, but he could've said something!

6) I just feel inadequate. My brain doesn't work like it used to...I feel like I'm missing things- obvious things. Some jokes go over my head and when I say so, I feel so embarrassed that people might think I'm not all there, naive, whatever...But if I don't say so, I feel like a dumb*** for pretending to have gotten it...I'm 25 years old and I still feel 10 sometimes.

7) Jesus seems to think I want to control everything and that's just not true! It may have been that way at the beginning of our marriage, but not so anymore so he slacks off. I want him to take initiative and be responsible. I've asked for him for help; I guess it's easier for him to just not help.

8) I can't let go...

I miss the happy me who caught all the jokes, could take care of everything without feeling overwhelmed, didn't worry about how to pay the bill due tomorrow, was not annoyed by her precious beautiful babies...

I want to let go and trust. I want to not worry. What I hate most about my pity party is that it may be rubbing off on the kids and they're acting out...And that's the absolute worst part...

I'm pretending and I have a feeling people can see right through my act...

I want to find me again...I'm just not sure how...

I'm Happy Now

2009-07-07T16:13:00.002-05:00

It's about time! After the fiasco with Best Buy and not being able to find my computer guy at his office/shop (whatever!), I finally took this thing to Cat-Man-Du! I honestly don't know why I just didn't take my stuff there before!

We know Ray Wilson, owner, from ASC. We had small group for short time. At the time, he was having a hard time starting his business up. We never were sure what his line of business was, only that he needed prayers over it. Then one day, on NewsChannel 10, lo and behold! Ray Wilson talking computer stuff!

Now, we're loyal people, you should know. I'd been loyal to Circuit City all those years; they gave me great customer service, both in store and over the phone. We made many a purchase there. We were loyal to our computer guy, whom I'd met at my first job. We're also loyal to United, Ford, Subway, McDonald's (these days!), Sprite, and the list goes on.

So, we were happy to know GOD heard our prayers and has blessed him.

Then our fiasco.

Then Cat-Man-Du to the rescue! I took this thing in and explained my woes...They were super nice and totally took me under their wing. I loved their office, atmosphere, and customer service. They learned my name right away and it wasn't just a transaction, they knew that I needed my laptop for work...err...blogging and were on top of it!

I took my machine in on Friday morning and had it back Tuesday morning. I know that seems like a long time, but you have to take into account the 4th of July weekend...

So give 'em a shout should you need them for your computer needs!

Work

2009-06-29T23:16:00.002-05:00

I'm still a SAHM, but 4 days on, 4 days off! Sort of...

I really like this realtor thing so far. I can work the hours I want, which is great! I work around my hubby's schedule. When he's off, I'm at the office doing some more learning and training, and when he's working, I'm home doing what I can from here...Works great!

When I finally get clients and they want to see houses, I can take the kids along if I have to. (I say if I have to because it's hard to show homes with the 2 kiddos--One or the other would be okay though!) I can research for listings and do CMAs from home, email "tours" to clients, stay connected to the everyone at the office--I can do just about anything I need to from home. Technically I guess I'm working all 8 days! But it's fun!

Anyway, if you haven't already, check out Agent Ali. It's all about my work life...hopefully that part gets more action soon! :o)

Been M I A

2009-06-22T22:18:00.004-05:00

I've not posted in a few days! But rest assured, I have plotted posts! However, none of them made it out of my head to my fingers to the keyboard.

I usually have my laptop out on the couch or the dining room table ready for my long fingers to tap away at the keyboard. Not lately. Not because I don't want to (believe me, I DO!), but because I'm so irritated with the laptop, Best Buy and my computer guy.

A few days ago, I shut the laptop down like I usually do. I noticed the shortcut button to shutdown had a little Windows Update icon by it, but thought nothing of it. Then at every start up it would "blue-screen" and go into restore mode.

Being the incurable optimist that I am, I thought I'd try it a few more times and then finally gave up and took the thing to Best Buy where I purchased it. The guy helping me was great, but then he told me something I didn't know.

"You don't have accidental coverage on your laptop."

WHAT? Because I actually purchased the laptop online, I didn't have the option to purchase accidental with the basic GeekSquad protection online; which I knew because I was talking to corporate Best Buy and they told me to come buy that part of the coverage at the store.

I did.

I told the girl at the customer service what I wanted and she proceeded to sell me Black Tie Geek Squad. I wanted to be sure that I was getting the right thing because it seemed so expensive for just the accidental, so I showed her my online receipt and she said I already had accidental, and it came in the same package. When I asked why corporate would tell me to come in and purchase accidental, she said she didn't know and assured me it was included.

In retrospect, I really should have asked someone else. But as with all my bloopers, I blame it on the screaming, running, wild children of mine, who, remember, are not afraid of people and will not care what they say, do or think when they act out. As a side note, I think they do it on purpose when we're out and about...

so rather than getting passed around all the corporate Best Buy operators and explaining my situation 20+ times, trying to recuperate my monetary losses, and growing more infuriated by the second, I think I'll redirect that negative energy toward something pleasant...I can't think of anything right this second...Any thoughts??

Having given up on Best Buy, I went to see my usual computer nerd only to find his doors locked. Little ol' optimistic me thought he might be at lunch. I came back an hour later, doors still closed, he must be taking a long lunch. I went back the next day and still nothing! I went back today and NOTHING!!

My laptop doesn't want to jump on the internet, only opens microsoft office programs from the "dock" and not the start menu, McAffee Anti Virus is not updated, I think I lost a driver...

This PC is slow and I hate being in my bedroom all by myself typing away about how irritated I am. I'd rather be surfing the web, typing a more pleasant post, searching the TREC website, catching up on blogs I follow, uploading and organizing photos, checking out my lists at GroceryGame.com all from the couch while hubby watches his new action movie.

Alas, I'm here and my head hurts and my back hurts and I really don't want to go to sleep but I don't want to watch that movie (I'd rather a nice romantic comedy, preferably starring Matthew McConaughey).

So, my apologies for this unpleasant, whiney post. I promise I'll try to be better next time, after all the negative energy has passed, or effectively redirected...

Flying Colors

2009-06-17T15:23:00.003-05:00

Yup! That's how I passed my real estate exam this morning...With flying colors!

What a weight off my shoulders! I couldn't do anything really without my license! Now I can sell homes, list homes for sale, help people find a rent home, manage private rental property if I want to!

liberating I think would be the more correct term...

Even if you're not in Texas, I can still help by finding you a reputable agent to show you homes or sell your home for you...

I'm so totally excited to be a real estate agent! Soon I'll be a REALTOR.

Test Time

2009-06-17T00:56:00.000-05:00

If you've been reading Agent Ali you'll know I'm up for my real estate licensing exam. I've been working toward this all spring semester, along with my finance degree.

Today is the day! I say today, because it's past midnight and I'm excited about the test! I am SO excited to take this test! That's crazy, I know, but I think real estate is fun! I know this won't be work and I'll have loads of fun!

If I pass the exam, as soon as I do, I can start practicing real estate! How cool is that??

So wish me luck and pray that all the knowledge I've crammed in my head this last semester will come flooding back, as well as the 6 days of cramming I just got done with...

Amarillo Zoo

2009-06-13T14:33:00.003-05:00

We hadn't been to the Amarillo Zoo in a long time! I thought it was about time! We also hadn't seen Kristen and Devonie in forever, so we asked them to come along! The kiddos had so much fun! The 2 younger ones, Devonie and Daniel who are only 4 months apart, would not sit in strollers so they ran most of time! naomi wanted to see the "horsies", so we did. I don't have many photos unfortunately because 1) my camera battery was dead, 2) we were chasing most of the time, and 3) well, um, we were chasing little ones!

I must give you all Amarilloans a heads up! There was something being said about the zoo beginning to charge and entry fee...Well it has happened! Imagine my surprise when I show up with 2 in tow and there's a line at the entrance gate. First of all, you don't see that here! Secondly, it was always free to get in! Whatha?! They were having some sort of scavenger hunt and were taking passport pictures for kids. Well, mine aren't old enough to scavenger hunt-okay, one might be, I'm not going to try with one that is not- and they've already got passports, so skip that!

Oh, goodness! My children are brown! I guess it's to be expected with as much sun as they've had lately, not to mention their predisposition to brown-ness! Ha!

Houston/Freeport

2009-06-09T20:42:00.008-05:00

After the party in Arlington and after having arrived in Arlington for that party that day, we drove 5 more hours to Houston. We pretty much only stopped in Arlington for dinner at the party, some dancing and we were off again! But we had so much fun, I would do it again!

While we were in Houston we went out to Freeport and hung out the beach! What fun! Jesus hadn't ever been to the ocean. We'd tried to go several times before, but there was no time, wrong weather, wrong time of the year...But we made it happen this time!

The only thing that was/is not fun is that I've caught a cold and I suspect it's from the breeze and the beach after I got in. I was pretty cold! The closer we got the Panhandle, the more I sneezed! I thought it was allergies, but today I woke up sick! Achey body, headache, and miserable...I've taken some medicine and feel better, but I did let the hubby handle the kids. The kiddos have runny noses, but the hubs is just fine!

Anyway, take a look at the fun we had!

Gulf of Mexico

Our little fam!

Goin' in!

Celeste laid looking at sea shells and drawing in the wet sand waiting for waves to wash over her!

Wondering where all the water is going!

Me and the hubs!

Takin a break from all the water fun to snack on some strawberries and 'nanas!

Me and my cousin and her hubby crashing our picture party! (Not the high school graduating one, BTW!) :o)

My HS graduatin' cousin, Betty, with Celeste.

My hubby and I again! Havin fun!

In the ocean...

The "Beany Babies"

Daniel loved "riding" the waves with the help of Mommy!

My 3 exhausted babies after a fabulously fun time at the beach!

I can't wait to do it again!

Arlington

2009-06-09T15:07:00.004-05:00

I had 2 cousins graduate from high school. One in Arlington and the other in Houston. Our first stop was in Arlington.

Shaida had a grand ol' party! We had a blast, but the kids were so tired from the day's drive, we were chasing them and trying to pacify them and we didn't get pictures. I was, however, able to get the best part: MARIACHI!! Let me tell ya! No Mexican party is complete without a live a Mariachi band! And in my family, that's what we do!

The man singing is my uncle and he has his own Mariachi band in San Antonio where he lives. My dad used to sing in a Mariachi band many many many many moons ago! To keep this going, Naomi Celeste is going to have violin lessons and hope to get her in a Mariachi band, and Daniel will have training in guitar... Can't wait till they're old enough!

We're Home

2009-06-09T13:44:00.003-05:00

WoW! What a weekend!

We went to Arlington and Houston all in 3 days! Say it with me: TIRED!! We're all just taking it easy in front of the TV.

The kids are having a late lunch consisting of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and water. And so are we...

Maybe after a nap this afternoon I'll share some pics! We really had fun!

My New "Eyes"

2009-06-04T22:23:00.004-05:00

I wish this post were more insightful, but it's not-- at all!

About 6 months ago, Naomi took my glasses and snapped them in half! Oh, these children! What will I do?? Luckily, I had purchased a whole year's supply of contacts when I had my yearly eye exam, now I've depleted that supply and had to go get new specks.

I've had the thick black frames, but Joey ate them. The pair I had that Naomi broke were the frameless kind. These are a mix of the two, but with a vintage flair! Love 'em!

Watcha think??

Sorry for the quality of the the image; it was taken with my Blackberry...

Panhandle Weather

2009-06-04T20:26:00.007-05:00

Updated: More on tonight's weather!

This is what the sky looked like on Tuesday evening...after a gorgeous day!

The day I wrote Beautiful, we got rain and thunder and lightening...It was great!

Today, after a wonderfully warm summer day with temperatures in the upper 80's, strong storms are marching across the Panhandle. Some are producing hail and tornados! Only in the Panhandle do we get a thrill from this weather!

We do get some damage from these "spurts" sometimes, but for the most part the storms are just loud and like to rise a scare of some people (my mom being one of them! LOVE YA!) and some dogs; Joey is curled up on our bed about to jump out of his skin!

What I love most of these storms is the way GOD paints the sky during and after them, and even before the storms. The night I took the picture above was great with lots of different clouds building and some people even caught rainbows on film!

Today, as the storm was roaring through, the skies opened up and the sun shined but it kept right on pouring, thundering and lightening all around us! It was the coolest!

Panhandle weather, gotta love it! This is also why they say if you're cold or hot in the panhandle, wait a few minutes...

I don't know if you can see the rain drops...Remember I only have a point and shoot little camera...

Check out Panhandle Skies for more pics of our skies!

Going Back

2009-06-03T22:44:00.003-05:00

I was reading one of the blogs I follow. Jillian is due to have a baby girl she and her hubby will name Emerson (isn't that the cutest name?!). She is so ready to have that baby! Boy, do I remember what that felt like! (Remember Beauitful?)

I was also watching a something on CBS and a girl was pregnant and was going into labor! I was telling Sweet Pea how I missed being prego, and how I'd do it again if I didn't have to do the boob thing! (I guess I wouldn't have to, but I'd feel so guilty if I didn't nurse them like Naomi and Daniel were nursed.)

Honestly, even labor was beautiful. I am one of those lucky few who, just about, got a text book birth both times.

_________________________________________________

Well, I was going to tell you all about the day each one was born, but I thought better of it--after I sat and typed out the whole post! It would've probably been TMI! We'll definately enjoy being prego again and another baby, should it be God's will for us one day, for now, we're done!

_________________________________________________

PS If you really want to hear about it though, I loved my experiences and don't mind sharing at all! Just ask and you shall receive!

Enough is Enough

2009-06-02T12:44:00.005-05:00

Who remembers this post?

GOD is now screaming at me! While I did stop watching so many of Matthew McConaughey's movies, I've gone a little deeper in all the McConaugheyness going on in Amarillo. Since I found out about the man possibly coming to the AMA and making this home, I can't stop thinking about him and daydreaming about the day I run into him! How crazy is this!?? If I do run into him, I am certain I would not say a thing to him...I might a stare a hole in him...

Why don't I daydream about the day I meet my Savior?? Who's heard the song by Mercy Me, I Can Only Imagine? Honestly- what will we do??

I remember the first time I heard the song. A girl in our high school died in a car accident. At the funeral, a friend of hers sang that very song. At the time, I didn't listen to any Christian music and I knew not of the wonderful Christian artists. Tears came to my eyes, not from the saddness and loss we were experiencing, but from imagining coming before our Lord. I had never thought about it like that. Then again, I wasn't into the Jesus thing.

I imagined what it would be like, but I didn't even know if that day would ever come. I wasn't saved. For real saved. I'd always done the "I wanna be saved" when I would get invited to one night retreats with some other people from school, but I had no idea what that meant. Some of those people would cry and I would too just because they were. I'd never experienced the Holy Spirit. I think I can say that was when it really hit me.

Honestly, I'm just now realizing that. Because from that day, even it was just a nugget in the back of my mind, I knew something had to change.

But nothing did. I went on about my life with a twinge of guilt that I ignored for years. It wasn't until I became pregnant that I knew I had to change something. We didn't go church, we didn't know the Bible, only the children's Bible stories.

I still have not been baptized, other than Catholic christening when I was 3 or 4, which means nothing to me because I don't know what the point was if I didn't know anything and was innocent in God's eyes.

I have learned very much, but still far from being what GOD wants me to be.

So why don't I daydream about meeting our Savior?

Maybe it's a scary thought to die and leave the kiddos. Maybe it's a scary thought to die and not have pleased Him. Maybe it's a scary thought to die.

So I say enough is enough. If I run into Matt McConaughey, so what?! The only difference between he and I is that I'm not known around the world and don't have tons of money or have the good looks to make someone drool over me.

What good is all that if I don't please He who made me? Who made the heavens and earth and everything in it??

Enough is enough.

Not Me Monday

2009-06-01T20:55:00.004-05:00

Check MckMama for other Not Me Monday posts!

I am NOT stalking Matthew McConaughey's house(s)! Just like I did NOT take pictures of the possible homes that may be his...Of course not! I do NOT even like the dude!

McConaughey's House!

2009-06-01T15:50:00.009-05:00

So, I told you I'd post pics Matthew McConaughey's house in Amarillo. Here they are! But I'm not sure which one it is... Both of these homes were having some work done when I drove by to get some pics, and they are only one block apart... Maybe Linda will help decipher the mystery! :)

The second photo is the address I was given, and the first just seemed more like it (from what I'd heard)...

Now, for your viewing pleasure:

All info are my Mental Ramblings. I don't know how reliable my source(s) are. But it's fun to do some investigatin'!

"Photography"

2009-05-31T21:24:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking about photography lately. I love taking pictures, even though I'm not very good at it, I don't know much about resolutions, megapixels (are they the same thing?), AV modes (what the heck? MckMama said something about that), and all have is a point and shoot with a shattered upper left hand corner LCD screen because Naomi is becoming quite the photographer herself and dropped it on our hallway tile....

I digress...

I've been thinking about taking classes at AC to learn the trade and do some freelance work. I've been daydreaming lots about Matthew McConaughey too, since I learned that he bought another house in Amarillo.

------

I arrive at our first class, late as usual, and sit at the back so as not to loudly announce my late arrival to the whole class. I like sitting at the back of the class, though. I scan the room for people I might know, then person by person I find something about them I like, don't like, and then wonder what they're like...

I get to one interesting man. Dirty golden shaggy locks, his polo shirt tight around his biceps, showing off his lean muscles...What I don't like about him is that he looks way out of it. Maybe sleepy, as his head is kind of going every where.

I keep my eye on him but carry on with my people watching as the instuctor talks about the syllabus and plan for the course.

At last the first class is over. I wait for everyone to rush out the door past me. Apparently, the man I had kept my eye on thought he'd wait the rush out...Then he turned around!

Matthew McConaughey!!

OMG! I think I just wet my pants...

Was I the only who realized who this guy is?? Maybe I missed all the excitement when he walked in the room at the beginning of class.

Matthew McConaughey at a photography class at AC in Amarillo, Texas!!!

Needless to say I was too starstruck to say anything to the guy.

The next class time, we both wait for everyone to rush out the door and I have gotten over my frozen state. So I walked up to him and introduced myself. I told him how much I love all his movies and that I'm a huge fan. I wanted to shake his hand and not just lunge at him in a big bear hug, but he seemed to invite it so I squeezed his lean bod and he just sat there and I waited for a squeeze back. How nice to get sqeezed by Matt McConaughey!

But as I was bear-hugging him I noticed a few other things. He smelled funny. Yes, he had a manly smell about him--I heard he doesn't believe in deo--It's Matthew McConaughey for pete's sake! Who cares!? There was just a different scent I'd never smelled before. He also smelled lightly of liquor, like he'd had a shot, maybe.

I went on and asked him why he was taking a photography class at AC of all places! He said he'd like to take good pictures of people he meets in his travels and to capture them in thier every day activities. I wondered why he didn't just hire a photographer to go with him, but I figured just because he's rich doesn't mean he wouldn't like to learn some things on his own.

I asked about his baby and Camila and why they'd decided to move to Amarillo. He confirmed what I'd heard: he wanted to raise his children here.

Then I asked him if he would like to come over to my house and have some fresh homemade flour tortillas with beans and rice and whatever Mexican entree he liked. He said he would love to so I gave him my address and we exchanged phone numbers so he could check his schedule and get back with me.

However, I made him agree to some conditions before coming over. What was I thinking?? Conditions on which Matthew McConaughey was allowed to come to my house?? He seemed very out of it and I really think he was high, and something tells me it was meth he was on. He'd obviously been drinking at least a little bit.

when I asked him if my suspicions were accurate, he said they were. He promised to be clean for at least 3 days prior to coming over. I said my kids would be home and didn't want them to be exposed to any behavior due to drugs.

I came home and called a friend. She said I was dreaming. I thought it might be a possibility so I went to sleep and I woke up to find out I was indeed enrolled in a photography course at AC and so was Matt McConaughey.

Then I heard little kids screaming.

I woke up.

The tricks my brain plays on me! Ugh!! I'm still confused as to why he was on drugs...Maybe he'd have to be on drugs to talk to little-bitty 'ol me!

OHS Graduation and Randomness

2009-05-30T22:38:00.009-05:00

Graduation time is upon us, and among those are Belen, my sister, and one of my first "children", T-Tio. (Check out Beanes Family for more on Belen.)

T-Tio's name is actually Natividad. He is named after his grandfather and his dad. He and his little brothers were my first babysitting "gig" when I was in junior high school and the family new to town. He's the only one who remembers who I am! I think he may have been like 3 or 4 years old, making his brothers babies! I babysat them through one whole summer and I had my hands full! But I fell in love with those kiddos! I hardly saw them over my high school years as I busy with other stuff and and a part time job at the local Mexican restaurant.

Fast forward several years, and we found ourselves at Olton's high school graduation. Natividad played sports and I knew he's a bright kid. Imagine how proud I was of him to see him making the Valedictorian speech! I never imagined how I would feel when I saw him up there giving one of the most important speeches a young person can give! Somehow, I felt like I had something to do with that. I helped mold him over that summer I spent with him and his brothers. I'm so proud of him!

Natividad giving a WONDERULLY written and heart-touching, spiritual speech.
Natividad's little brothers: Esai (left) and Emilio (right). All three boys are such sweet boys! Can't help but be proud of them!

Since we were in Olton, we were of course at my mom's house. My dad gave the kids some cookies and sat them out on the front steps. Such sweet kids!

This is what I saw out the screen door.

The day before graduations, I kept Emma for a little while. She's such a bright girl and full of energy! Sometimes I don't know how her momma does it! The girls painted and are showing off thier masterpieces. They painted on the insides of cereal boxes. Worked very well!!

If "paintings" reveal personality, I would say these definately do! Emma mixed her colors together, Celeste kept them seperate; Emma didn't paint much of anything- when I asked what she painted she said she "coll ahs!" [colors], when I asked Celeste she said "babies" which would be happy faces. They also each painted thier "objects" on the left side of the boards- they have something in common!

Bedrooms: Naomi and Daniel

2009-05-30T20:54:00.007-05:00

Once again I'm participating in the home tour hosted by Kelly at Kelly's Korner. Use her button on the right to see some great kids' rooms!

Since Naomi Celeste is our first-born, I'll show you her room first. But first, I'll give you some back ground.

When we were pregnant with her, we decided to be surprised when she was born, so we didn't find out wether she was a girl or boy. We painted her room in light green and yellowy stripes (same color as the bottom half of her walls) her chair rail was masking tape yellow--REALLY! We taped off the stripes with masking tape and decided it would be perfect for the chair rail. It went great with Classic Pooh theme we chose.

The theme was perfect, as we got pregnant with Daniel when Celeste was only 9 months old!! They shared the room, and we only added a crib and made room in Celeste's closet and they shared a dresser and changer.

Daniel moved out when he was one year old.

So, on to Celeste's room!

This is the view from her doorway, in from our kitchen. We did the pink and white splotches in one day!! CRAZY!!

I finally have time to make some window treatments! Coming soon!

The pictures in the frame are the Disney Princesses, minus Belle. I got these lithographs free as each movie came out of the vault and I purchased on pre-order at our local Disney Store before it closed. (I'm so sad!) I actually started collecting these before way before we got pregnant!

I finally found a place for Celeste's plush animals! Notice Pooh and Eyore from her previous decor- Tigger and (not so classic) Piglet are up there somewhere!

This armoire holds a TV that my hubby found one night when he was throwing out the trash! It still works! The bottom 2 drawers hold some clothes...

Celeste's night stand: The lamp from her previous decor, bottled water for middle of the night, miscellaneous: lotion, wipes box. I used to have a few pictures for her, but decided to take them down as her brother and a little friend didn't like them and decided to rearrange them to the floor!!!

Here's the big girl herself! We were getting ready for bed while I was taking these pics, so we had to get her in! When she was potty trained we switched her to a big girl bed, but instead of opting for a toddler bed, we went with this full fized. Naomi, being the sweet girl that she is, gives up her bed to sleep with us when we have over-night company!

On to Daniel's room! His daddy has had much influence on the decor in this room! Hubby is a trained and very experienced automotive paint tech, needless to say he is a huge fan of ANY car! (I really should post a pic of his first truck- a '97 Ford F-150- but I'll save that for later!) Anyway, see for yourself!

This is the view from Daniel's doorway, from the dining room. (I'll soon be working on window mistreatments Nester style!)

Hubby built these shelves from scrap wood he found in the dumpster one night throwing out the trash!

These too!

The cars figurines we got at the Disney Store during the closing sale, for cheap!

Lightning is a CD player that plays Daniel's ocean waves and natural sounds to help him fall asleep. The box thing is actually his lamp. I bought that when we found out we were having a boy at the request of (who else?) the hubby!

Hope you enjoyed the tour! Leave me a comment! I'll come check out your rooms! I have too much fun "snooping"! :)

PS The hubs checkered the yellow wall and the box... Isn't he just great and talented?? :)

McConaughey

2009-05-28T23:33:00.003-05:00

I've got conflicting info on Matthew McConaughey in an Amarillo subdivision or another...

One reader confirms what I've heard on the Woflin possibilty, and a connection I have have says her boyfriend knocked on a door in the Greenways and Camila answered.

Apparently, Mr. McConaughey likes to have parties with live bands, according to neighbors at the address in the Greenways.

Just telling ya what I know! I'll figure it out!! I won't rest until I do!

Did you know Matthew McConaughey is the only guy my hubby has "allowed" me to cheat on him with?!? LOL!

Sweet Pea, can I cheat on you with Matthew McConaughey?

Sure, just make it good so he'll spend lots of money on you and then you can pawn the stuff and spend the money on me!

Is it really cheating if you know and you've given your permission???

I dunno...

Beautiful

2009-05-26T12:57:00.009-05:00

What a beautiful day in the Texas Panhandle today!! Nice and sunny with temperatures only approaching 80, a gentle breeze. The birds are happily chirping and the squirrels are running around (and away from us) in the backyard. We just had lunch and I only regret not coming out and having a picnic in the yard. Joey is chewing on his cow's hoof; Naomi is trying to get out the back gate again; Daniel just went down the slide and landed square on his bottom and I'm typing away soaking it in.

Yes, a beautiful day in the Panhandle today.

Beautiful are also the miracles GOD performed in me just 3 1/2 and 2 years ago. Can you believe that is them in the picture above?? (Excuse Joey doing his business-not so beautiful!) I was visiting a blog last night and the owner is pregnant. She's due very soon, a few weeks, I'd say. She had posted pictures of herself and her husband. Oh, those just took me back!

I loved feeling the braxton hicks contractions (not the real ones), Naomi's heel dug into my rib and her punching my bladder. Yes, beautiful. Daniel would lay on one side and my belly would be lopsided one way or the other. He was breach for some time and he would kick my bladder. That was a little tougher to take than the sweet punches my little girl would give!

Such beautiful creations GOD created. Beautiful were their sweet gestures to their momma letting me know all was well.

Oh, I would turn back time just to feel them again!

But why not have another?

As beautiful as their movements were in my belly and as beautiful as they are, I think we will leave that to GOD. I don't think I could handle one more child; I don't think our one paycheck could handle one more child. Also, I want to be involved in activities with them.

Celeste is fixing to start pre-school, and while I don't think there's too much for her to do at this age, I want to be there for her and for Daniel as he is still my baby. Another child would not allow for too much involvement and would take my attention from my current baby, who needs all the attention I can give him!!

Beautiful, however, is reminiscing!

And it goes without saying: How beautiful and glorious our God is!!

As I soak in today and observe the beauty of everything He has given us today, I can't help but wonder how truly beautiful He is! You know that saying, it takes one to know one? Well, God has to be beautiful to see if He can make such beautiful things! And not just of a certain kind, many and many more! Just think of ourselves, for example. We are so many across the world!

Each blade of grass under my foot (I'm sitting with my legs crossed): each one is different from the next.

There are millions I could go on about, but all I really want you to do is sit and listen to it all. Listen to your miracles laugh, giggle, shriek with joy and happiness. Listen to the birds merrily singing in different voices and so harmonious! Listen to the breeze move the leaves in the trees. Listen to silence and hear Him. Hear His creations. Hear Him speak all around you. Our job now is to make out his beautiful way for us.

Beautiful He is, beautiful are his creations, beautiful are we in His sight.

Beautiful.

(Even the little bugs that keep biting around my ankle!)

Update: Fact or Fiction

2009-05-26T10:00:00.005-05:00

I've been getting hits from people googling Matthew McConaughey in Amarillo and the like. Which is pretty cool! So I wanted to let y'all know what I know:

I heard it was a house in the Wolflin area and he is currently doing construction on it. I want to find it and drive by it and see what he and Camila chose. I will not give you his address, as that would not be fair to him or his family. Someone else might, but I won't. I'll surely take a picture though! But as of right now, I don't know the address...

So keep checking back! I might have a connection who knows where Matthew's house is located!

Click here for orginal Fact or Fiction on Matthew McConaughey.

(also on Agent Ali)

My Dining Room

2009-05-24T18:42:00.005-05:00

This week is dining room week at Kelly's Korner (see her button on the right)! Last week was guest room week, but I did not partake in the event as I don't have a guest room! Ha! We barely fit in our little 1200 square foot house, but it's cozy and makes for great family time!

But before I go on, check out my family blog, The Beanes Family for pictures of our Memorial Day outing yesterday! It was a ton of fun!

Anyway, here's my dining room. Enter at your own risk!

This view is from the kitchen doorway. Notice we only have one lightbulb in our light fixture that works (either burned out or not screwed in completely)...Trying to save energy! Plus we don't need so much light, an open back door helps light the space! :)

This is from the back door. The door on the left is Daniel's room; the door on the right goes to the garage. Yes, there's only 2 bananas left...someone needs to do some grocery shopping (and some dishes)! BTW, Daniel was sleeping so the door was closed, not that I didn't want to give a sneak peek to next week's posting!
Notice my plant in this one. It has survived!! My thumbs are not green, let me tell ya. I'm very surprised it has lived for 8 months!!
Also notice the washer and dryer in the kitchen. You remember me saying something about counter space in the kitchen edition??
This is from the living room doorway, straight out my back door! My Joey is always asking to come in when he's out, and out when he's in. He's never satisfied! That sounds like someone I know! Ha!

This is what I see out my back door. Excuse the red trash can in the middle...Hubby's doing some yard work and Naomi's trying to get out the gate way at the back...You see her?? She's a little pink "bunch" crouched there. I can see the kids playing in the yard while I work, okay, while I blog at my laptop on the dining room table.

Leave a comment; I'll come check yours out! And sorry I'm late!

Fact or Fiction

2009-05-21T21:19:00.003-05:00

Fact or Fiction: A couple of weeks ago it was rumored that Matthew McConaughey was looking for a house in Amarillo.

FACT!

Fact or Fiction: It was also said that Matthew wanted to raise his children in the big AMA.

That has yet to be determined.

Fact or Fiction: Matthew did indeed purchase a home in Amarillo.

FACT!!

I'm star struck! Apparently he owns a couple of other houses in Amarillo. But this last purchase is reportedly due to the large possibility of F or F #2 being a FACT.

I love the real estate business!

(also found at agentalibeanes.blogspot.com)

------------------CLICK HERE FOR UPDATE-----------------------------

Exodus 20:2-17: The Ten Commandments

2009-05-17T14:16:00.002-05:00

1. "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me."

2. "You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likness that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them or serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God visiting the inequity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments."

3. "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain."

4. "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work; you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them and rested the seventh day. Therefore, the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

5. "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you."

6. "You shall not murder."

7. "You shall not commit adultery."

8. "You shall not steal."

9. "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."

10. "You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's."

The reason I remind myself, and you, of God's laws for us, is because I am rebeling agains them. Not purposefully. Somethings I do I don't realize fall in the realm of what God really intends for us.

I went to church this morning and was listening our guest preacher, Scott Sager (who is really good, by the way). When he started out, my thoughts were, "Okay, I learned the 10 commandments in grade school. Do I really need to hear them again?"

"Yes, you do."

As Scott went through each Commandment with hand motions, God was speaking to me. Each Commandment God told me how I was breaking it and rebeling against.

We always have one or two Commandments that we know, in the back of our minds, we are breaking, but thinking, "Oh, this isn't what God meant when He issued Commandment number [whatever applies to you]."

I'll be honest and tell you that I have struggled lately with Commandment number 10. I'm not saying that I'm perfect with every other Commandment, this is just the one God really let me have it on. This morning it was just reiterated.

As Scott mentioned, King David his big snowball of sins when he broke one commandment. Breaking one lead to breaking another and another and another. It's vicious cycle.

What GOD spoke to me:

1-2. Worrying about and wondering if you're going to get more money is like idolizing it and putting it before Me.

3. Only praise Me genuinely and call upon Me with My name.

4. Keeping the Sabbath includes EVERYBODY, not just you, my child.

5. Tell your parents how you love them and keep in contact.

6. Don't kill the spirit of those who are so happy to accomplish something you may think is tacky. Don't kill the excitement in those who are excited about something you're not excited about. Build confidence and support those around you.

7. Quit watching Matthew McConaughey's movies.

8. Don't take Me away from those who don't know me by not sharing about My love for you and My Word.

9. Be yourself in everything you do. Don't be one person at home and someone totally different outside of home.

10. Love what I have given you. I have given to you with love. Take care of it and I will give you more. What others have I may not have given to them.

So you see? I may not be stealing things or killing people, but I'm doing much worse. I may be wanting things that other people have that were not given by GOD, but by wordly means, therefore I would be wanting that and not GOD.

And I do, I want GOD!!

Good News, Bad News

2009-05-12T21:55:00.004-05:00

GOOD NEWS: We won't be left without a signal in a month!

BAD NEWS: The old TV that went in our room will.

GOOD NEWS: We got a new TV!!

BAD NEWS: It was a splurge.

GOOD NEWS: The channels are crystal clear with the bunny ears.

BAD NEWS: Except my 2 favorite channels: ABC (Grey's and Housewives) and CBS (Doppler Dave, our local weatherman) :o)

Mother's Day: Cookies and Tortillas

2009-05-10T20:06:00.012-05:00

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommas! Wow! I've been a mommy for 4 years if you count my first mother's day I was prego with Celeste. Mommy-hood is both hard and rewarding! But I don't believe any mommy would give up the hard, tough times for anything!

This year, Jesus works night shift and so after church we went out to eat at oh-so-fancy and yummy McDs and we came home. we actually went out to eat at Texas Roadhouse (my FAVE) yesterday for graduation/mother's day. It was really a very fun time! (I don't have pics because my sister forgot my camera, as she was in charge of pictures at graduation....)

So, it's me and the kiddos this evening. Celeste and I made cookies, and I made some tortillas. I think I've mentioned my making tortillas, but I've never put the recipe on the blog.

Celeste is helping me and she loves picking the chocolate chips out...
They turned out really yummy! After I uploaded the pics I realized I didn't take a picture of the finished product... :o)
Now for my momma's homemade tortillas! sorry, I couldn't take pictures while I was preparing the dough!

HOMEMADE FLOUR TORTILLAS
3 cups all purpose flour
2 Tbls salt
1 1/2 tsp baking powder ( I use clabber girl)
1 cup softened or precreamed shortening
approx 2 cups hot water (as hot as you can stand it-don't burn yourself!)

Combine all ingredients in large mixing bowl, except water, by hand until very fine crumb-like look. Add water 1 cup at a time. (You may not need all water, you may need more-I didn't accurately measure :o) ) Dough should be soft and not tough. It should not be sticky; all flour should come off the sides of bowl. Roll into a ball and cover with plastic wrap. Set aside for about 15-20 minutes.

Preheat griddle on medium-high heat, while you prepare "testales". These should be slightly smaller than the size of your palm. (Please don't mind the dripping bean juice! I was also making some refried beans for bean and cheese burritos!) :o)

Cover "testales" with plastic wrap as you go so they don't dry out while you work.
Once you've used up all the dough, dust each "testal" lightly with flour before you roll them out.
Roll out each tortilla to about 7-8 inches in diameter. You don't want to roll out it too thin; you'll get brittle tortillas. If you don't roll them out enough, you'll get thick biscuit-like tortillas

Lay the tortilla on your griddle to cook them. When it looks like this, flip it. You will only flip the tortilla this time and one other time.
(This is the first side, after you flipped it)

Cook for approximately one minute, or until cooked, then flip again. cook for about 30 seconds or until done...

Throw it on the pile! Makes about 17-20 tortillas.

I so hope you enjoy them! Share your experience, tell me how they turned out!

I DID IT!!

2009-05-09T23:47:00.007-05:00

I did it!! It has taken me way too long, but I did it!!

I can officially call WTAMU my Alma Mater!

GO BUFFS!!

I'm a little excited!! I think it's just now hitting me actually...It didn't feel real even walking across the stage.

In all honesty, it's a momentous occassion, as I'm a first generation college graduate on both sides. I feel like I've accomplished more than complete classes to get a piece of paper. I've opened the door for my kids, and let my little sister know it can be done and she can do it, no matter how long it takes!

Here's some pictures. Looking back at them brings me the feelings I think I should have had walking across the stage, other than the fear of falling on my face in front of the whole audience!!

Here I am on my way to receive my diploma, or diploma folder, I should clarify--I will pick up the acutal certificate in a few weeks at the Dean's Office.

Almost there!
Walking toward my dean--This picture is when I wish I had blonde hair, or at least not such dark hair, then maybe you could see me a little better... :-)
My hubby: The guy who supported me...LOVE YOU SWEET PEA!
The little ones I did it for...The best family pic we could muster!

The 3 most important people to me on this journey. LOVE YOU Mother, Daddy-o!

With my MIL.

One day we'll be here again, except the cap and gown will be on them! (Sorry this one's fuzzy)

Accomplished!!

Ali Beanes: WT ALUM

GO BUFFS GO!!

PS: I got my new TV; I'll post pics later :)

Living Room

2009-05-08T22:48:00.004-05:00

Kelly's Korner is hosting the second week of Show Us Where You Live Fridays, and this week we're showing you our living rooms!

This is my living room as you walk in the front door...And we have bunny ears! I only get 4 channels, but it's all I need! I watch Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives. My kids only watch Disney movies or we're in the back yard playing, baking cookies, or playing on the living room floor...We're getting a new TV tomorrow, by the way, before we get left without a signal!

This wall is parallel to the front door. This chair we bought second hand from a lady I worked with when hubby and I got hitched...Never getting rid of it. I love it!

And since I don't have a laundry room, most of the laundry gets dumped on this chair until I get to it... :)

This is the view from the dining room...I'm fixing to do something with that wall! I don't know what yet...Any ideas??
I went shopping--The bags from Ross and TJ Maxx are still sitting there, along with my laptop...

This is across from the couch above...That stove is my favorite feature in this house!
A better look at the stove. We don't use it because we're afraid the kiddos would touch it and burn themselves...

The gray back-pack has my hubby's gaming console. He carries that thing around when we go visit his or my family--silly guys!! And some of the kids' toys "of the moment". I only keep what they play with most often in there, so it rotates--We're into playing school (hence Celeste's little brown back-pack and sponge letters for painting.)

I also had to share with you our little mishap and the reason our carpet will be replaced soon (we're doing hardwood! Yay!)

I was doing some ironing and left the ironing board and iron out--I made sure it was unplugged and went on to cook dinner. When Celeste woke up from her nap I made a mental note to remove it. However, when I got to it (literally 2 minutes later), this is what I found. She had plugged it back in!! Luckily, it didn't interest her much and she found something else to play with!

This is beside my favorite little chair. It has books, my Bible and journal, and some yarn. I'm learning to crochet!

Thanks for stopping by! Leave me a comment; I'll come check yours out!

HEART ATTACK!!

2009-05-07T10:29:00.002-05:00

Your heart stops and you can't breat; you think you're going to die...

This is what happened to me...

Yesterday, Celeste and Daniel were hopping around our living room making animal noises. They were pretending to be all kinds of animals!

"Look, mommy! Look at me!"

I was trying to get some books off the floor and deep in thought as I did some other chores.

"Yes, I see you! What pretty little doggy/ducky/cow/bunny/fish/etc...you are!"

"Look mommy! I'm a [F-BOMB]!!"

I couldn't believe my ears!

"What, baby?? What did you say?"

Very calmy and clearly, she repeated what she'd said.

"I'm a [F-BOMB!!]. See?? Ribbit! Ribbit!"

Tell me about your latest heart attack!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-06T21:24:00.003-05:00

~Pardon the quality--web cam.~

Two in the Bag!

2009-05-05T20:41:00.002-05:00

I took a final for one of my classes yesterday, and I must say, that one was tough!!

I took my last final this afternoon, and not so tough!!

I also turned in that big paper I've been working on and so stressed over...

relief and relaxation...

Uh...Not so fast...

As I logged into Buff Advisor, the university online "check-all", I realized I was still feeling stressed and not relaxed!

Click: my heart races...

Click: faster

Click: my chest tightens...

Click: AIR!!

Then I finally made it to my virtual destination...

That exam yesterday did it...I got a C! :( So not excited about that, but Cs get degrees!! And I got a B in accounting!!

Yes!!

I need to bag two more classes...Please pray for Cs or better...

A Day Late

2009-05-02T15:26:00.008-05:00

WoWee!! I'm lucky to get one hit a year girls!! After I posted my link on Kelly's Korner, I started getting hits like crazy!

So let me introduce me! I'm Ali Beanes--not beans, but like "be honest" without the "t". However, I think Ali Beans has a cute ring to it! My hubby is Jesus and we have 2 cute kids (mommy's bias) and Joey, a black lab mix and our first baby. Naomi Celeste is 3 and Daniel will be 2 in June.

Please feel free to post any suggestions on my [lack of] decorating implementation skills, Lord knows I need them! I seem to have ideas, but I just don't know where to start or how!

~Ali~

-------------------------------

Kelly's Korner is hosting a "home tour". I thought it'd be fun! But since I'm so busy right now with finals and wrapping up semester projects, I didn't do it on Friday!

I also thought I'd join in because my WHOLE house needs decorating and I thought I'd get some great ideas from some ladies!

It's white! It's a blank canvas...I would love more cabinet space and to update it with a dishwasher. (I hate hate washing dishes!)

I wouldn't have chosen white floor tile...With two small children and our lab mix, it's very hard to keep clean, as you might imagine.

The cabinets you see are the only ones I have in my kitchen.

Above the stove is a 50's range hood that still works!

I'm so ready to move the W/D out of there!! In the meantime, they're a good sub for counter space! :) Behind me, as I take this picture, is my dining room. Since our table is an "unloading deck" and I took these pictures in September, I didn't get a picture of it!
It does what I need it to: prepare dishes for my family!

Thanks for stopping by! :)

edited 5/2

UNDER PRESSURE

2009-04-30T14:38:00.003-05:00

This is it! Final week of school! It has taken me WAAAYYY too long to get what I set out to get: my Finance degree.

As you know, life happens...K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then [we] come with a [double stroller]!

My aspirations have changed since I was in high school, when I just knew what I was going to do when I grew up. My plan, in a nutshell was to flash through undergraduate classes and go to work for a bank where I would then become a lending officer. And it was all so within sight and reach! My first year at WT, I took 18 hour semesters and did quite well. I got a tellering job at a bank that I still bank with! Made great friends...I got married right out of that first year, and took a lighter course the following semesters, but didn't do quite as well. Then came baby number one, now known as Naomi Celeste. I had to take a one-semester break...which then turned into one and half YEARS!! In which time Daniel came, unexpectedly. I never really liked having to be a working mom, but took comfort in the fact that Naomi was in great, very capable hands with one of my good friend's mom. However, after Daniel, I really had no choice but to become a stay-at-home-mom. But it was all GOD who set it all up--it was all His timing. This was the time to get back to my original plan, but it didn't fit anymore.

Since I was so far ahead in my Finance degree, it didn't make any sense at all for me to switch my major to early childhood education. So I kept at it with faith that something would work out.

Now, with the long tunnel behind me, things have worked out!

I wanted to switch my major to education so I could be on the same schedule as the kids, and not miss anything! Since that didn't happen, Real Estate was something that I always liked, but never really something tangible. But I've gone for it! It has MUCH flexibility and I can tote the kids along if I need to!

So, at the moment I'm totally under PRESSURE!! I have one last intense weekend RE session this weekend, and finals next week that I HAVE to pass with Bs or better (okay, I know: Cs get degrees), and on top of that a big final paper!

Please pray that GOD gives me the strength to be the mommy I need to be while I'm under all this pressure to jump out of the tunnel and completely into the light I've watched grow bigger and bigger! Pray that I retain all the information I need to pass my final exams with Bs.

I praise GOD for giving me the chance to finish what I started. I praise him for allowing me to also be with my kids while accomplishing it.

Practicing

2009-04-23T21:17:00.010-05:00

I don't know if I've mentioned, but I'm going to work for a local real estate company this summer! I'm really excited, but I'm scared about my picture! Well, you know-- Your picture is what's published with all the listings and if people like your photo, you look inviting, friendly, professional, like you could be friends, they'll call you and not your fellow agent. So what do I want to convey in my picture?? I'm just practicing...Tell me what you think!

Okay, so some of these are out, but I was just bored and got carried away!

Toodles!

Hanging Out

2009-04-23T08:39:00.002-05:00

I've gained some weight since I stopped nursing Daniel almost one year ago. It's only come in my belly area and I've developed "love handles". Okay, and my behind has developed a jiggle as well...sigh...

It was such a nice, gorgeous day yesterday, so we took the kids to the pool. I only have a couple of weeks to go before I'm officially WTAMU Alum, so I wanted to take advantage to my free pass the indoor pool on campus. I put on my pre-baby bikini because it's the only swim suit I own!! I topped it off with long cami and a pair of shorts.

Since I didn't want to show off everything my bikini shows off, so I kept the cami on in the pool and tied it up so I didn't wet it. I only went in the kiddie pool...I might drown in the deep end! LOL!

But you know what?? I decided I was just going to let it hang out!! Yup! Jiggley bootey, belly and loved handles all hung out!! Usually, if I'm wearing fitted clothing, I'm so conscience of sucking it in and standing straight up so it doesn't show. But yesterday I didn't care!! I don't know why I was bold about it...I guess I just wasn't going to worry about it!

I really do need to get rid it though. I don't really need to loose weight, only tone up and get rid of the flabby stuff, so I'd only really loose like 5 pounds.

Does anyone have routine exercise you do that works?? Mainly concentrated in legs, abs, and glutes....

I'm Allergic to Weekend Class

2009-04-20T22:28:00.002-05:00

Yes, you read that right. I am allergic to weekend class, in more ways than one. I realized it when I woke up Friday morning with a snotty nose, itchy and watery eyes, and sneezing! Weekend class started Friday night, 7-9 pm and goes on Saturday and Sunday 8 am - 3 pm. It happened last month, too, when I was doing Law of Agency on the weekend...The whole duration of the course, I had the most horrific symptoms, and Zyrtec wasn't helping at all! This time, I'm taking Claratin and it seems to be working, except for my stuffy nose and my nasally voice!

Since Jesus is working the same weekends I'm having to take this class, my mom has been coming up to help by watching the kids. (They're so spoiled! They love having her around!) Also, I'm taking this class at Amarillo College in Amarillo, so I don't get to come home for lunch, and I also have to get up way before my regular wake up time on Saturday and Sunday.

When I got home on Friday, and the kids were going crazy!! They were having too much fun!! So I put them to bed and my mom and I talked about everything! It was nice having her to myself! It was so nice, I didn't get to bed till 2 am! I'm such a loser when it comes to bedtime--it's regularly like 10 pm!!

Needless to say, when my alarm clock went off 4 hours later, I was still way tired-from staying up and it was compounded by my stupid cold and allergies! So, of course I snoozed it...and snoozed it....and snoozed it...And I was gone! Next thing I know, a horrifying thought woke me up...IT WAS 8:00 AM!!! Boy-howdy, you've never seen one jump out of bed like I did! I stripped off my PJ pants and threw on some jeans I saw sitting on my computer chair, grabbed whatever T-shirt I grabbed first out of my closet and my WT hooded sweatshirt. I had the meanest urge to pee, so I went and brushed my teeth on the pot! I found my tennis shoes in the bathroom and put those on. As I was driving half asleep out of driveway, I'm looking for my cell phone in my purse and Greg's phone number from the syllabus we'd gotten the night before, all the same time! I finally got to a red light and dialed the right number! I was on my way!!

So that was my Saturday morning "mishap". Come noon that same day, I was starved! I didn't grab anything for breakfast! I ran to Sonic and came back to take a nap in the parking lot before class. I just couldn't get comfortable in the front seat...I went to the back and stretched out on our third row seat. That was much better. I made sure I had my keys, my phone and locked myself in and set the alarm on my phone for 15 minutes before class was supposed to start. Took me a quick power nap!

Too quick...before I knew it the alarm was going off...ERRR! So I sat up, not wanting to have a repeat of that morning, and brushed my hair into neat ponytail. I grabbed my keys, book and purse and pulled on the door handle, nothing. Dummy, UNLOCK!! I pulled on the door handle...NOTHING!! I sat on the floor between our second row bucket seats confused...Was I still sleeping?? No one was around to let me out...I hit the unlock button on my keyless entry pad again and tried to get out again...Nothing. I sat there...still confused as ever...Then it all came rushing back...Celeste is now big enough and is able to reach the door handle from her car seat, so we turned on the child-safety locks. Still no one showed up to let me out...So I had to climb between the front row bucket seats and into them so I could get out!! I'm not very limber at all; I'm sure if anyone was watching they'd be all over the place laughing thier heads off! but I made it out with out breaking anything and with out shoving anything out place!

I made sure I didn't hit the snooze button on Sunday morning. I got up when that alarm clock told me to! And I sure as heck was not going to nap in the back without first disengaging the child-safety lock feature. So I went to McDonald's. I was talking to my mom when I placed the order, checking on the kids. She was telling me some funny stories that had happened that morning as I was placing, paying for, and receiving my order. I ordered a #2 with no onions, bottled water, and 3-for-$1 cookies (for dessert of course!). The guy gave me my water and started to hand me the rest of my order, but I asked for ketchup. He gave the meanest, dirtiest look. He obviously doesn't like his job...I very cheerfully thanked him but he didn't say ONE word, just stared at me. I carried on my convo with my mom and drove back to that friendly parking lot where I began to take my food out of the bag, only there were no fries!! Now if you're a fan of McDonald's you're a fan of the fries! You can't not go to McDs and not get fries! I hung up with my mom...I was on a mission now! I was going to get my french fries!! Usually, stuff like this doesn't anger me like it did on Sunday...I was LIVID!! The more I ponder it, the more I'm convinced the guy took out my french fries when I asked for ketchup to piss me off! Thought he'd get away with it...NOT THAT DAY!!! I came back! and I got a refund--on the fries, but at least I got something back...The same guy was at the window; he just handed over my fries, I grabbed them and gave him a dirty look--The least he could have done was apologize, but he didn't say one word, again.

I'm okay now. I'm over my fries!

Do you believe me now?? I'm allergic to weekend class!

What are you allergic to??

Big Night Out

2009-04-04T00:03:00.002-05:00

Well, we went out and watched Fast and Furious...You better go watch it is all I have to say! Paul Walker is just hunky--hunkier in this movie than I've seen him in any other! I'm not much into bald guys or big muscles, but Vin Diesel is deelish!! :) (Not to worry, I've let my hubby know how I feel about these two men, and he says as long as I don't touch!)

We ended up taking the kids...not something we'd planned on, but it was okay. Celeste sat in our laps and Daniel kept saying "Kah-ohs" meaning "carros" which is "cars" in spanish. Towards the end he was restless and tired of being in one spot, but he did well. Celeste kept gently taking my chin in her hand and asking "What happened, mommy?". She didn't understand alot of the fast-paced action going on.

It was a great time! The kids did FANTASTIC! Neither of them had a nap today...I really thought we'd have our hands FULL! I guess it helped that they had a nice big Mexican supper at El Patios Mexican Restaurant here in town...YUM!!

Reconciliation

2009-03-30T22:57:00.006-05:00

Sunday was great! It was still weird after being so mad for long (3 days?), but we had a good time. We did go to church. I know I said I didn't want to, but it's church! It's not a party I could just skip because I felt like it! It's church! Honestly, though, I vaguely remember the message, but worship is always great! It takes away everything bad!

After church we went out for lunch to Rosa's. Celeste wanted a "chiladas, mommy! Chiladas!". I really wanted Texas Roadhouse, but that will have to wait for FRIDAY!!

We're going on a date!! WOOHOO!! Yup, I asked the husband out on Saturday night. It's up to me I guess to do what I want to do. We're going to dinner and then watch a sequel to one of his FAVORITEST movies in the WHOLE WORLD: Fast and the Furious. I must say I enjoyed the orginal Fast and the Furious, afterall it was loaded with 2 hott dudes (Vin Deisel and Paul Walker). The following sequels lacked badly, but this time, I think it's gonna be pretty good! Vin Diesel and Paul Walker are back. So, anyway, as long as I can get Texas Roadhouse crutons and 3 hott dudes, I'll be okay! And a good margarita!

While we were also out and about, we went to Burlington and check out what we got Celeste. She's such a girl! She wants to wear dresses everywhere-the bigger and frillier, the better! She has 2 dresses she loves to wear and she says she's a princess (duh! Our little princess!) While I was checking out some jeans, she was off with her daddy and she found a princess set, complete with tiara, shoes, clip on earrings, a necklace, and 2 rings. Isn't she ADORABLE???

Here she is in one of her 2 favorite "big one, mommy" dresses

And here she is in her new princess dress and accessories...WHAT A DOLL!

This is what she wore to Wal-Mart this evening and she was just so happy that EVERYONE recognized that she is a Princess. Princess Naomi Celeste Beanes to be exact!

It Has Subsided

2009-03-28T22:19:00.004-05:00

My anger and frustration and resentment have subsided. Not because of anything I did or he did, but I guess GOD just did it.

I couldn't sleep last night so I stayed up and cried in our living room; the only thing on was our lamp and I just unloaded. It really felt good, but this morning I felt like I still needed to be mad so I was! I took a nice long hot shower while the kids slept- yes the hubby too, and I'm not mad about that anymore. I think it just washed away all the tension I was feeling. I put on some old and comfy PJs and went immediately into the kitchen to start dinner.

Then we had this bit of fun afterward.

I think we'll try that talk again and see if it goes anywhere this time. I sure hope so. I don't like the heavy feeling I've been carrying

It Went NOWHERE

2009-03-28T16:36:00.005-05:00

Had a horrible arguement today. He's just not getting it. I ended up walking away because I could feel a fistful coming at him; plus, Daniel couldn't go back to sleep so I had to go rock him. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say to him that will make him understand. I know he doesn't like his job, but he didn't want to stay with Mark. He misses JMF in Plainview. Well, I miss my girls at Herring. Tough, and I don't look back.

How do I make him understand?? He doesn't! I want to feel for him like I used to when we were dating. He used to hug me in church; not just in church, everywhere! And he'd hold my hand and just showed me he loved me. He doesn't anymore and he says it's because I don't like it. I'm sorry, if I ever shrugged his arm off it was because I was trying to do something and his arm around my shoulder was in the way. It started after naomi was born. I was trying to be a mom to her and I couldn't nurse her with his arm around me and me trying to hold up a blanket to cover up everything and keep her comfortable so she wouldn't rip anything off that was attached to me! So it's hard to hold something up just right and have dead weight on your shoulder. Sorry. But I didn't mean all the time!!! I guess that's how he took it because I was nursing all the time!! Now he doesn't even want to hold my hand...I dont' want to go to church tomorrow. I don't think I will. Sienna's parents want to go out to eat and we're not where we should be out together. Anything would set either one of us off.

He's sleeping again...ugh...

Sometimes I wonder if we're too far gone, all the time, actually. I feel likeit might just be so.

It's kinda scary to think that. This is never someone's plan as they wed the person they love. It's never even conceived that things could change and others could go wrong. things will look up right??

My Life Today

2009-03-27T15:45:00.008-05:00

I don't know how many people read this blog, if any. I don't keep up with it very well, but here, nonetheless.

Today, I want to use it as an outlet for my stress, anger, sadness, resentment--the ugly...

The past few months have been building and building on all of the above. Stress with school and everything that it entails. I have one professor who I donot care for AT ALL! All I can say at this point is thank goodness I'm not an accounting major!! So that also adds to my anger. I got an assignment back from her on Tuesday and she totally at least DOUBLED my anger!

On top of this, I might as well not have a husband. Right now he's off for 4 days and it's like he's not even home, except for the mess he makes. He's worse than the kids. He was sitting in the living room watching The Price is Right (of all things!) oblivious to the sceaming kids fighting for a toy! I'm sitting taking it in because I'm hoping he'll step up and be a dad. No such luck. Totally oblivious to the scene. So anger, resentment and sadness all fit in here. I'm sad that he doesn't want to play with his kids, resent the fact that he's not willing to help me. I don't have to explain anger, do I? Right now both the kids are sleeping (thank goodness) and so is he- instead of being with me and talking or something! He promised he'd help me clean the house yesterday...instead he made it worse and now HE'S SLEEPING!!! ERRR!!! (ugly)

I don't think it'd be so bad, except that for spring break my parents went see my grandma in Weslaco--down by Brownsville. I so wanted to go! I asked Jesus thinking he'd probably want to think about it- not that I need his permission, but I'd like to have his input on my decisions. He said we didn't have any money and it'd be better for me to skip this trip. So I thought he had a point and left it at that. Well, he decides to leave for THREE DAYS during SPRING BREAK when I have NO BREAK from the kids even to go to class! What was he thinking??! Now, he's gone with his brother and one of their friends to work OT at a different facility, so it's not like he's out partying or just on a short vacation, but YES IT IS!!! I need one of those!! (resentment, anger)

I babysit for a friend while she's in class, and she does the same for me. It works out really well. The only thing with that is that when I'm not in class, she's is and I'm babysitting. Any other free time from that I'm in class. So I don't do anything. I can't do anything in the 1-2 hours in between babysitting and class. I get the kids ready to go and that's all. I'm just sad because I don't have any time to myself and do what I want to do.

What I think really makes me sad is that I would rather not have my husband here. During spring break since I didn't have class or have anything to go to or do, we went to the park, played outside with Joey, flew kites, and the house STAYED clean!! Wow! While I did want a break, it was okay. As soon as he got home, that calm week turned hellish. I'm sad that he thinks that just because he works he's entilted to sit and do nothing but make my work load heavier, and not even help with the kids. I'm sad that I don't have a husband except a lump of meat. (ugly) I would love to have a friend to hang out with in my husband, not a room-mate. (sad)

I'm also sad that we don't have date nights even after I requested that we do it on a regular basis, or even irregular! He was probably oblivious to my even being in the room, come to think of it, when I was telling him. I explained to him that I needed some time with just the two of us like we used to when we were dating or even pre-parenthood.

I'm sad that I don't know who I am anymore. I know what my roles are and what I need to do, but I don't know how to define myself. All students, moms, wives have the same agenda, but how you do and with what heart and character are totally part of a person. I don't know who I am. I don't know what my favorite color is anymore! (sad) Yeah, it's that bad. I don't have that drive in me to be all that I can be. I used to have that, and I've slowly lost it. I don't know how to find me. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Nothing is like I pictured it would be today. I thought I'd at least know who I am.

I know GOD is all powerful. I just don't feel him here. I guess if I don't call Him, He won't come, but I don't even have it in me to summon anyone. I'm embarrased of everything- from what people can see to what what they can't and what I feel.

Making Sense of Non-Sense

2009-02-12T23:23:00.004-06:00

GOD. He is almighty, powerful, and WISE. We don't need to understand what He does or why. Sometimes the "why" is obvious, other times not so much. Sometimes it's because He wants us to come to a deeper relationship with Him. Sometimes it's because He wants others to accept him and begin a relationship with him. Other times, it seems like neither of these is the situation and we're baffled. It doesn't have to be obvious right away though.

I've been keeping up with the stories of 2 little girls. They don't know eachother and their parents don't know eachother. One little girl, Harper, was born sick not a month ago. Her doctors didn't think she'd make it. She was flown to a Children's Hospital in her state where he doctors cared for her and her whole family as well as complete strangers lifted her up. With lots of faith people prayed for Harper's healing; prayed for her health.

The other little girl, Cora, was born a healthy vibrant baby not a year ago. However, Cora started to be sick very often. One thing after another. Her parents found out she had cancer, advanced cancer. Within 2 weeks Cora underwent a series of surgeries to alleviate symptoms as well as removal of cancer on top of radiation and chemo treatments. None of this had anytime to sink in, but all everyone knew to do was pray for this little girl who was only about 11 months old. As with Harper, her whole family and complete strangers prayed for healing with FAITH.

From both stories, each with different endings, GOD was glorified. Many people were saved through their stories. More people are walking a closer walk with GOD. We see this and we're grateful, but sometimes it's at the expense of a loved one. How can we make sense of that?? It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Why must one die? Why can't one just come close?? That would seem to be the more convicting. "Well, Praise GOD! How close did this child [in either of these situations] come to death and was miraculously healed?! GOD is faithful, powerful, merciful!"

Because we have to have faith that GOD has something up his sleeve. He says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord,"Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." SOMETHING GRAND!

Why the ICE CAPS are melting

2009-01-09T17:31:00.002-06:00

This was supposed to be a joke that someone told my husband and he came home and told me...The ice caps are melting because hell is getting bigger. I'm sorry, but I refuse to think that's funny. I don't think hubby thought it was very funny either.

Isn't it sad people think it's funny that hell is getting bigger?? In order for hell to grow, more and more people have to be going there. What's so funny about that?? First of all, people have to die to go there. There is so much turmoil in the death of a person. Their loved ones are grief-stricken, the circumstance under which the person passsed away, or even the circumstances that the actual death itself causes.

Most importantly doesn't it reflect the fact that we, as a people, are moving away from GOD?? As time goes on we should be growing nearer to GOD because, with each passing moment, His Kingdom draws nearer. And I, for one, want to be one to go There. Which is why I'm going to be baptized. Yes, once and for all. I'll let you about that one!

And one more thing-I thought it was so ironic that my mom was telling about a book she's reading in which the author describes a story in which miners, having dug deep, deep into the earth, stopped thier work after having heard screams and moans of pain and terror.

Good Ol' School Days

2008-10-24T14:28:00.005-05:00

Mine are almost over!! I can see that light at the end of the tunnel! I'm looking over what my schedule will look like next semester and I think I can do it! Then, I went online to get some information on Real Estate Licensure on AC's website and ended up talking with the program director, I guess is who she is. I can do that too!

The thing is, I'm kinda scared. I've never known what it is to be completely out of school. Yeah, I took that LONG break to have the kiddos, but I always knew I was coming back! Now, knowing I'll be done is scary in a sense. Our plans are to keep Jesus at home and I'll go to work while he finishes his degree in management. By then, both kids will be in school and we'll both be working.

Then there's another thing. Do we want another baby?? He's always wanted 4 kids, but geez! He's not the one pregnant for nine months, or giving birth or nursing the little ones! The nourishment of the babies are all on me for almost 2 years! When I was pregnant with Daniel, I was hoping for a little girl. I just had a blast with Naomi and still enjoying her! She hasn't the terrible part of her twos! Of course, I love my little Daniel to bits! But, in a way, I'm still hoping for a little girl-without the pregnancy, labor (and all that it implies!), and nursing. Why can't we just adopt?? There are so many people having babies they don't want! But that's a whole 'nother blog!

Okay, back to my "end of my college/student career". I hope I get some replies to this. I could do continuing education and just get my license. But I've always liked banking. I could do mortgage lending later on if I wanted to, but I think I'd have to take those types of classes, I think in an "academic" setting, which only means I'd have to pay more money and it'd go on my transcript and be reconginzed anywhere. Whereas taking just "contin-ed" would only let me practice in Texas and only other select states. I'm not saying I want to move out of my beloved Texas, only that I don't know if God wants to keep me in Texas. What if he wants me in NM or Colorado, or even NH or NY or DE or CT!! Yeah, I'm in love with the New England states and the mountains! Whatcha think?? I guess I could ask Rachel!

Blown Away

2008-10-15T23:16:00.001-05:00

Let me start by telling you that it's not windy, though you'd probably think so given my location and the title. No, my babies do it to me almost on a daily basis. It's a great feeling, to be blown away by their accomplishments, as little or insignificant as they may seem.

Naomi, is my firstborn. I can't imagine she'll be THREE YEARS OLD in January! Gosh, I still don't feel like I have left high school some days! (Yeah, I'm that young at heart!) She is just becoming quite the articulate child! She's that kid that only mom understands...Not even dad knows what she's saying sometimes! She finally beginning to speak in complete sentences! Her words are still all choppy and if you're not me, you have to pay close attention to what she's saying or you'll miss it and she'll start scolding you for not answering her question the way she wants you to! She's growing up and I can hardly stand it! Tonight for dinner I cooked her and little brother some "fideo", a mexican soup, that they just gobble up! While I was cooking some fresh tortillas like my momma taught me, I had dad fix thier "fideo" bowls, but he thought it was way over cooked (LOL!) so he made them some hotdogs with pickles and tomatoes and cheese. Anyway, they finally sat down and started eating and then Naomi started whining..."EYE DOE OP!" EYE DOE OP!" Jesus didn't have any idea what she was saying until he got up next to her in her seat and went to touch her face when she threw up...right into his hand...then he said, "Oh, I know what she was saying..."Then because I decided to stay and talk to a friend after Bible study and not go do my weekly Tuesday night shopping, I had to go shopping tonight. I was holding Daniel giving him his good night kiss and Jesus standing next to me waiting for me to hand him over so he could go put him down. Except Daniel just puckered up and went for kisses from his daddy! Then back to me and back to Jesus, and me and then Jesus again. So this is where I'm blown away. If this doesn't make sense, I'm sorry, I'm just silly I guess. But Daniel is 16 months old. His primary caretaker has always been me (except for the month of work that it took me to realize I had to stay home). Daniel only sees his daddy for a couple of hours every night and the weekends. But he knows he belongs to him. He knows who his daddy is. And I guess he's always known this, but it never struck me like it did tonight. He loves his dad as much as he loves me for the simple fact that Jesus is his daddy. It's probably selfish of me to think that he would love me more huh?? I'm just saying, the little innocent things they do say so much!!

I'm blown away at thier God given ability to say so much without words and thier ability to grow and learn!

Blown Away...just blown away

PS I realize this is the 2nd place I've posted this, but I think this is a Fam update as well as my mental ramble! :)

Fire Safety for Parents

2008-09-11T23:16:00.003-05:00

It's another GOD thing! Our God watches over us and takes care of us. I'm 100% convinced of this as He has proven this many times in my short life.

Just last night, Lisa asked me to go with her to a free dinner she won at a local restaurant. Of course, I can't just pass on free dinner!! LOL! So I went. A man, Bob, was presenting on fire hazards and safety. (Did you know a 9-volt battery can catch an S.O.S pad on fire just by touching it?? He did it!) He showed us video of a fire rapidly spreading-19 feet per second!! That's as fast as 55 mph!! (according to Bob--Finance major over here hasn't done the math!!) Anyway, we learned how to break out a bedroom window to get out, why we should close the bedroom door before doing so, and that MOST of the smoke detectors in our homes are COMPLETELY USELESS!! Yes, USELESS!! They don't detect the kind of smoke we think they're supposed to. (I didn't know there are different kinds of smoke either!--there's more to it than light or heavy smoke, apparently) We also got some cool stickers that firefighters look for when they are at a housefire; helps them find the rooms people might be trapped in.

Bob also had some GREAT smoke, CO2, and heat detectors. They're a little high, but I'd buy them in a second if I had the money! MasterGuard has been in business for 37 years and still has not had a fatality or major, serious injury with the use of their alarms. I'm quite immpressed!

So I want to buy 4 smoke, 2 CO2, and 1 heat detector, but Jesus won't let me!! WAHHHHH!!!

Still, I learned some great stuff to help me keep my babies safe!

The Winner Is...

2008-07-16T15:52:00.000-05:00

ME!!!

Some of you called, others emailed, but sorry to say, NO ONE guessed correctly!!

Regular or shelf prices were as follows:

~2 Covergirl Outlast Lip Color 9.99X2=19.98
~1 Febreze Air Effects 2.50 (sale price)
~1 Febreze Fabric Refresher 3.99 (sale price)
~2 Covergirl Lashblast Mascara 8.49X2=16.98
~1 Covergirl Eye Enhancer 4 Color Pack 5.49

Total shelf price: 52.98
Out of Pocket: (DRUMROLL) 5.39

Yup, totally loving this game!

You Can Have It! Really!

2008-07-12T23:22:00.004-05:00

Okay, everyone! So I am so totally WOWED!! No joke!! After joining this awesome game, I have done so well shopping!

Ladies, take a look at the pic below and guess how much I spent. If you guess correctly within ONE DOLLAR, I'll let you have one thing from the pic. (Steph and Kristen, you guys don't count 'cause I already told you! Sorry!)

-2 Covergirl Lashblast Mascaras (very black)
-2 Covergirl Lip Colors
-1 Covergirl Eye Enhancer (4 color pack)
-1 27-oz Febreze Fabric Refresher (antimicrobial)
-1 9-oz (think) Febreze Air Effects

Next time I log in to blogger, I've better have some guesses!

In My Heart

2008-07-08T16:43:00.002-05:00

In-laws...Are they ever what you dreamed of? I mean, you dream of finding "the ONE", the wedding, your kids, and you just assume everything will be perfect! All the parents, brothers and sisters, all in peaceful harmony, right?? WRONG!!

There's a long story about us and my in-laws. Too long to go into any detail. But I was always there even when I knew they didn't want me around, and they were always there when they knew I didn't want them around. We did it all for the person who tied us together, my Sweet Pea. After the dust settled, we didn't have a relationship to speak of. We only treated each other with respect out of decency and thoughtfulness to my hubby.

I know I've mentioned this before, and you can look back to a previous entry, but Milton Jones, our preacher at Amarillo South has been preaching a sermon series called How to Love Someone You Can't Stand. Honestly, I haven't done too much except listen and try to put myself in his message, then we're dismissed and I think about it again the next Sunday.

GOD is great. GOD is awesome. GOD is MAGESTIC!!

Sunday, Milton has more to say about revenge. Now, I'm not one to desire revenge. I know my place in that: Leave it to GOD. But GOD used this message to soften my heart toward my in-laws. I don't want revenge for how they've made me feel in the past. Or what they've done or haven't done. I just want to feel comfortable around them and not like I'm walking on pins and needles. And I've never said this to them until today when I called my mother-in-law, GOD has opened my heart and I can truly say that I love them.

They may not be flawless, far from perfect, but they love my babies and they gave me my husband.

Now if they could only love me back!

GOD is great. GOD is awesome. GOD is MAGESTIC!!

PRAISE BE TO YOU, LORD, KING OF KINGS!

More Grocery Gaming

2008-06-26T23:08:00.002-05:00

I went to Walgreens on my "list" and had a blast! I had everything figured out! I knew exactly what I was getting and how many of everything. I knew what I was going to pay, minus taxes.

I picked everything off the shelves that I had on my list, went to the cash register and he sat there scanning everything (probably wondering why I needed so many Lysol products and 4 Head & Shoulders shampoo!). When he was done, he gave me a total of $41.xx. I then handed him my 8 coupons and a $5.50 Walgreens Register Rewards I earned my first GG shop. He scanned everything in and his next words were as follows:

"What a savings! $19.46 is your total!"

You figure my savings!!

My First Adventure with The Grocery Game

2008-06-20T14:54:00.002-05:00

I've been studying TGG for just over a week, but since I didn't have coupons, I didn't shop last week. I got my first set of coupons in this week's paper and went shopping at CVS and Walgreens. (I have yet to hit Wal-Mart -- I'm not sure I totally understand that list completely yet.)

I went to Walgreens yesterday and bought just a few things and earned 5.50 RR!! YAY! (There were a few items I got rainchecks for) But when I got home, I noticed the cashier didn't scan one of my coupons--worth 3.50! I would have been paying more attention, but the kiddos were keeping me busy to say the least! So I got on the phone and talked to the manager; he said to just come by and they'd refund me! COOL BEANS!!

Today, I went back to Walgreens after having decided I did want some other things on the list. Again with kids in tow, I had my Naomi help me put things in the cart. I ended up with a wrong reciept. You have to keep in mind I've NEVER EVER done the coupon thing, my mom never did, so I have ABSOLUTELY NO EXPERIENCE WHATSOEVER in couponing. I didn't realize you have to give the cashier store coupons. I thought, like at Toys-R-Us, they would just automatically give you credit for it! On top of that Naomi grabbed the wrong box of tampons while I wasn't looking and tending to Daniel. When I went back in, they were so nice about it and the cashier was even entertaining Naomi while the manger did his thing at the register!

WALGREENS TOTALS:
SHELF PRICE - 61.68
Out Of Pocket - 27.87
SVGS - 33.81 or 55%
PLUS! Remember I got that 5.50 RR that I can used toward raincheck items!

I also went to CVS. I've never shopped there, so I'm not familiar yet with ECBs and what-not. I've applied for my card online, but because of power failures due to storms in the area, somethings are wrong in their system so they were unable to use my ph number to credit my card, since I won't get it for a couple of weeks! (bummer!) But here are my savings anyway!

CVS TOTALS:
SHELF - 18.75
OOP - 8.82
SVGS - 9.93 or 53%

I'm so excited to have found this site!!! Check it out for yourself! www.thegrocerygame.com

I know you'll have great savings! Don't forget: janbeanes@sbcglobal.net as your referral!

The Grocery Game

2008-06-17T15:49:00.003-05:00

The Grocery Game is something I came up on on the MamaSource website. Someone asked about, I was curious clicked and went to play!

This site gives you a list for stores in your area with everything they have on sale. They match the list items with coupons that you get in your Sunday paper or get online. They track the item prices and sales trends for that store so you can get "rock-bottom" prices. Sometimes, you can even get stuff for free combining sales, coupons, store rewards, and rebates! Free always sounds good to me!

You can sign up for $1 for 4 weeks to see if you like it and if it will work for you...After that it's $10 every 2 months for your first store, plus $5 each additional store.

I'm only in like week 2, but haven't done any shopping based on it YET. I do have my coupons and list ready to go! It is addicting! You just wanna check out the sales and match the coupons...

Click here to sign up and be sure to enter my email as your referral: janbeanes@sbcglobal.net

And don't forget to tell me what ya think!

Summer Night Class

2008-06-16T23:16:00.002-05:00

What can I say? I'm READY TO GRADUATE!! Come on MAY!

Thank goodness for my professor! She's also my advisor-since my freshman year-5 years ago this fall! I've always liked her. Her sense of humor is refreshing! Spring semester is the only semester I've had her for a class, and I can say she's by far the best professor I've had my whole college career!

Anyway, in case you're wondering why it's taking me so long to finish my bachelors, it's because I quit to have my babies. Now I have to finish what I started!

So, my professor--she's unable to have kids, so she and her husband have a dog. They baby that thing! She brought him to class in his little sling. (Just like they have for babies, except without the holes for the babies legs. The pooch just sits in the thing.) He is the cutest dog! She keeps us awake by making up examples of college dating. Since it's a finance class, we talk alot about risk in the market and stocks and that sort of thing. Screens, as in screening stocks-picking out what we don't want, etc. Well, boys looking for girls, good looking, hi-maintenance girl vs. the good-looking girl with low self esteem that doesn't require so much "up-keep".

Makes for interesting finance don't you think? I leave laughing!

Unfamiliar Territory

2008-06-13T16:00:00.002-05:00

Those of you who know probably think I'm crazy for thinking this, but I'm FAT!! Yes, I AM!! You all probably think I'm skinny, skin & bones, but the truth is all the eating I did in high school, pre-pregnacies, during pregnancy, while nursing, is finally catching up. I've only noticed this recently, say the last couple of weeks or so. I went to put on a pair of my favorite jeans only to find that they didn't fit so well anymore! I had a "muffin top"! (if you're not familiar with term, it's the fat that hangs over your pant waist) If you saw me, I don't think you'd be disgusted, but imagine my disgust!! I have never had this happen to me! Luckily, I was able to hide it with loose-fitting T-shirt.

I'm afraid this will get out of control! HELP!! I need to eat better, and excersise (I have an exercise ball that I used while pg and during labor). I just don't know how to get started! I think this also may be part of my laziness checking in!

I never thought this would be such a big deal for me. I always thought that if I gained weight I would be happy because I would be curvier (OR GET CURVES! LOL!). Not the case, however. I don't like where the weight is coming in. And it's not coming nicely either. When I walk, my thighs jiggle. We went to the swimming pool and my sister said my behind jiggled in my swim suit!! So, it's not coming in firmly! (But I hear fat rarely does!)

I've just never had this problem and don't know how to deal, or where to start to start fixing it. I don't want it to get so late, I won't be happy with the results. I also want to start a routine I can keep and it won't be a chore.

Nothing to Say

2008-05-31T22:37:00.004-05:00

As I wash dishes, do laundry, play with Daniel and Celeste, I make mental notes to myself: "I gotta get on Blogger and blog about ________________." And I have a great title to go with it, I know exactly what I'm gonna say, but then I FORGET!!! So much for mental notes, right?
Do I have so much going on that I forget, or nothing at all that I forget? Hmmm....

Sometimes, I think I'm going to blog about my husband. Then I change my mind. Most of the time I want to blog about him when I'm irritated with him. There is nothing good a wife can say about her husband when she is irritated with him.

Other times I want to write about my babies. There is just so much to say about them, it's hard to choose just one thing about them for one day. So I just stretch it out and blog about the "main idea" for that time. (jandbeanes.blogspot.com)

Then I want to say something about the Bible, but what? There is just SO MUCH! Plus, I don't feel up to par, if you will, regarding my knowledge of the Bible to be blogging about it. I just know what GOD does in my life, and even then I don't know EVERYTHING He does in my life.

How about my parents? Mmmm....Nah. They've got so much stuff going on...Which you're probably thinking "should make for a great soap". That's exactly why...It's none of your business!

How about my inlaws? I know there are lots of ladies out there who would agree with me in almost everything I have to say about inlaws, but I'm trying to work on that relationship, so lets not sour it.

When I go back and think about it, there are so many aspects of my life that I deal with on a daily basis. (I guess that's why it's called LIFE!) Marriage, kids, family, friends, school, church...How or why do we get through everything?

I haven't quite figured it out. I know GOD is involved. He makes everything possible. I honestly don't know how we can afford for me to stay home with the kids. GOD. I don't know how I make it through an afternoon with the inlaws. GOD. I don't know how I make it through one of Celeste's fits. GOD. I don't know how I make it every day with my husband. GOD, definately! I don't know how I stay sane couped up in the house day in and day out because I don't have money to go shopping. GOD.

But what is the reason for GOD letting me get through all of this? GOD...?

Love Whom You Can't Stand

2008-05-27T10:42:00.000-05:00

I've been reflecting on Sunday's message at ASC and an incident that happened here the same day. The 2 really don't have much in common. The message was the first of a sermon series Milton has entitled How To Love Someone You Can't Stand. The incident was a fight between a young couple right on our front yard!

My in-laws were here when it happened. We heard screaming, but at first thought nothing of it because we have nagging neighbors across the street (whom we can hardly stand, by the way!) But then it got worse; Jesus got up to look out our wide open door. They were in silver 2 door Honda coupe and the girl had a bag that she was carrying and it seemed like the guy was trying to force her into the car. My MIL saw the guy hit her. I wanted to go out there, but I guess they're SO against helping people (even though they call themselves Christians) they didn't let me and told Jesus he shouldn't either. We would only get ourselves in problems! I'm thinking WHO CARES!!! Getting in problems, as she says should be the last thing on one's mind when trying to help someone. I decided to call 911 (I don't know our local PD number). It must have been a slow day because 4-5 police cars showed up!! By then, one of the girl's friends had showed up (we found out later) to get her, but we had seen him trying to throw down with the boyfriend, I guess. We really should have come out and given our 2 cents while everything was still going on with the cops and what not. When we finally did, only the cops were standing around talking about it and they asked us if we had seen the guy hit the girl, and we told him my MIL had seen him slap her. The officer said they had both denied any such incident. Hearing that made me livid. At myself for not having followed my gut instinct and at my in-laws for having prevented me from following it! Had they not been there everything would have been different! When we came in I said something to that effect.

I guess GOD knew what he was doing when He gave Milton the message for us. That's all I kept thinking "Love Whom You Can't Stand". Erica kept saying that alot of women like to be beaten. I'm sorry, I beg to differ. They don't like it, they don't know how to get out of it. They're scared and don't know where to go. My MIL kept saying the same thing, saying she's seen it on TV. GIVE ME A BREAK!! TV?? She said court TV. Oh, that just makes it so true! What she doesnt' know is that some of these shows are an act! They have been edited. They are not free of lies.

I finally broke down and said, "Wether she likes it or not, it's our responsibility as people and human beings to help others who to us seem like they need it. If they choose to reject our help, then so be it. We would have at least done our part."

LOVE WHOM YOU CAN'T STAND.

Love whom you can't stand.

Love whom you can't stand.

love whom you can't stand.

I'm getting there. I hope the world is with me, ahead of me, or not too far behind me. What a hard thing to do. It has proven so hard for me, but GOD is helping me get there.

They're back TOGETHER!!!!!!

2008-05-22T22:40:00.000-05:00

Okay! I must confess, not only do I watch Desperate Housewives, I also watch Grey's Anatomy. And did you watch the 2 hour season finale!?? Oh, if you didn't you missed out, but if you did, I must have some feedback!

First of all, BIG TRAUMA!!! Wow! Could you believe it?? I honestly didn't know some of the things that happens to a body when encased in concrete! Obviously, the pressure is immense and that in itself is more than I think one could handle! Wow! I'm glad the boy got his kiss from the popular girl--but where were his parents in all of this?

Aren't we proud of Christina!? You go girl! I loved how she stood up to Erica! I was talking to my hubby during commercials about it (I won't let him talk during) and, I know I should have probably come on to this sooner than tonight-but I can be pretty dense and the whole picture sometimes has to be painted for me!--And I realized why Erica has been so horrible to Christina! Obviously, with the conclusion with her and Callie (which I'll get to in a bit), she just didn't want to be Burke! But also, knowing that Christina had worked under Burke and taught her so much, Erica was trying to keep her at bay. Erica probably understood that having learned so much from Burke, Christina could be teaching her a few things! Which is just what she did tonight!!

OOOHH! And we could all see Callie and Erica happening! Even though my personal beliefs do not support the relationship, it sure does make for great drama! Poor Sloan, though! I feel bad for the guy!

Go GEORGE!! Whoo-hoo! He finally stepped up! Yeah, and kissed Lexi too! Lexi, Lexi! I thought as much when she wanted the apartment to be just great for him.

Izzie. That girl! She just needs to have more confidence. I think having the clinic will help her do just that!

I want to know what happens with Karev! I want to know what happened with his mom! And Rebecca, she's just always had issues...

Derek and Meredith! AH! Need I say more! I'm a romantic sucker! It broke my heart when the idiot let him go!! After he went for Rose, I knew it was just over! And Rose fell in love with Derek! But after he agreed to the trial, I had hope! I couldn't stay in my seat! Those last 10 minutes or so! I was breathing hard, my heart was pounding! What if it's too late, what if Derek is so devasted he decides to just call it quits? What if Meredith just doesn't get it?? (It took me a little bit!) I was in agony! Meredith is looking for Derek, Derek is looking for her...Come on already! And then, just when I thought it was over, Meredith built their house!!! Oh, I was all over the place! Clapping! Whoo-hooo-ing! Boo-hoo-ing! Practically jumping up and down! I wonder what my husband was thinking! (He better have been thinking, "I need to do something just as romantic for my wife for no reason.") She even had kids in the picture! What I wouldn't give to either of them for that moment! (well, a lot of things, but you know what I mean!)

They're back TOGETHER!!!!!!

Can't wait for the new season! Can't wait! Can't wait!!!

Where in the world is MIKE??

2008-05-20T21:48:00.000-05:00

I guess I'm just in the mood for blogging!

I love Desperate Housewives! I didn't really start watching until a couple of seasons ago, but I'm hooked! I was so anxious for the new episodes when the whole writer's strike thing was going on!

Anyway, in the season finale, lots of things were just SHOCKING! I must say I'm proud of Gabby for letting herself go and become a mommy--to 2 girls! What was shocking about that is that the little girls didn't look like Gabby! LOL! I wasn't surprised that Lynette's boys are trouble makers--they're teenagers now, afterall. (Hmm...I wonder what happened with the girl?) I was glad Bree let Orsen come back, but I do wonder if he ended up serving time?? I guess we'll have to wait and see! But what totally got me was that when Susan came back home from game night, it wasn't Mike she kissed!! I expected to see little 5 year old Maynard wrecking her house, or with Mike doing some male bonding in the garage. Imagine my surprise when it WASNT MIKE she kissed!!! Oh, I can't wait for the new season!! I want to know about Mike more than anything!!

There could be a number of possibilities. Did Susan throw him out because he just couldn't kick the painkiller addiction? Did his mom drive her too crazy and he wouldn't disown her? Or did he walk out on her because she does so many things behind his back? (Conner when she she promised Maynard?) Or did they just get bored with eachother? So many more things come to mind, but I'll quit because it is making me CRAZY!!!

OUTRAGE! The pregnant man

2008-05-20T17:06:00.001-05:00

I don't know how many people, if anyone, reads this blog, but I think I might make some people angry just by this entry's title!

This guy, Thomas, isn't even a guy! He used to be a girl, but decided to turn into a man. Science did it's thing, doctors fixed others, and voila he's no longer a she! But, get this, he decided to keep his female reproductive organs. He knew he might want to have kids someday. This hardly makes sense to me. How do you want to become a man and all that it is, but still want to carry a child as a woman? A man never wants a woman's job, especially in that department! (Although, I know there are more and more stay-at-home-dads, but pregnant dads?) Does this not just make you mad on so many levels? I pity him as well. He's scheduled for a c-section birth on July 3. Talking about it is just unnatural!

This is where some people may be ofended, but my views are just that, MINE! I believe GOD made each one of us who He wanted us to be. We have no right to change that. I don't believe GOD would call us to destroy the bodies He gave us in any way, shape, form or fashion. I believe any cosmetic surgeries are destructions to the bodies He has given us. We're supposed to respect our bodies; they are the the temple of the Holy Spirit. I know how cheesy that may sound, but it's true! Why do you think sex with someone other than your spouse is a sin??!!

Anyway, I do pray that everything turns out good for this Thomas. I pray that this child will not be teased in later years, and that he/she will not be emotionally, mentally, or otherwise scarred. I guess I just feel like he's doing it for 15 minutes in the spotlight. He did after all come on Oprah to talk about it!

Acknowledgement

2008-05-17T12:03:00.000-05:00

WoW!! I've been gone for a while! I think I miss blogging, but nobody reads my blogs! Oh well! I guess it lets me vent to everyone and no one!!

Mother's Day was last weekend...It hasn't been a big deal for me...For a couple of reasons I think. One being that my hubby doesn't understand that it is a big deal so the kids don't have anything (a hand print, foot print, scribbles) for me. Two is that my mom and his mom don't really acknowledge me as a mom. So it does hurt my feelings. One of my friends had the cutest picture of herself and her baby girl on MySpace with a caption underneath that read "my first Mother's Day!" I didn't have that. Do I need to do what my brother does for his birthday? Lead his own parade? He throws himself birthday parties and what not! Maybe I should give myself my own parade! And quit feeling sorry for me! But if I do, I'll feel silly and selfish! HELP! I don't want to be all hurt or feel selfish, but I do want acknowledgment!

Friends

2007-12-20T23:35:00.000-06:00

I have a page on MySpace. A girl I went to jr. high school and high school with is one of my "friends" on MySpace. I'm kinda hurt because I thought we were friends. We wanted to go to college together, but that didn't work out. I tried to keep in touch, but with my life, especially now, it's crazy! I'm ashamed to say I lost her phone numbers a couple of times... But MySpace simplifies keeping in touch. So I try harder. She has said several times that she'll be coming home and we can get together. She comes home but I don't know when so I can't make the effort to see her when she is in town. I know she's come and gone because I end up asking her how her vacation/holiday went and she'll say she was at home. I always remember her on her birthday...even over silly things I remember what fun we had in school...I don't think she wants to be my friend anymore.

I know another girl who just completely fell off the face of the earth. I can't really blame her because unfortunately our friendship only came about through mutual circumstances, I guess you could say, but it still hurts my feelings that circumstance isn't mutual anymore so she forgets about me. After she got divorced, remarried and had a baby, she forgot about me. Like I said, I'm not sure I blame her, but she could have at least updated me with a new email address right? I tried to email her the other day to see how she was doing (18 months later) only to find out her email account had been closed. That was the only way I knew to communicate with her. I've looked for her on MySpace, but I don't guess she's on it. I've even googled her, but still nothing. I guess I should just give up. I know remaining friends with me only takes her where she doesn't want to be...But common courtesy? Even if we're not really friends, but aquaintences...I'd like to know she's doing good, especially since she left in such bad shape...

Am I the one to blame for these friendships gone bad? Sometimes I think I am. But I don't know how I do it...Am I too needy? Not needy enough? Or just overall not a good friend? Do I care too much? Not enough? These are friendships I thought would last longer than they did...I'd like to invite them to my kids' birthday parties and have their kids come, or go visit them for vacations or something...Maybe I just want too much out of friendships...

Oprah's Favorite Things 2007

2007-11-20T14:50:00.000-06:00

Can't wait! Today is the show to be at! I don't know why, though! I only feel sad and jealous and hopeful all the same time! Sad because I'm not there; jealous because I'm not there; and hopeful because I could be there next year! Every year it's like this!

Think just how blessed Oprah is to be able to give away so much stuff to COMPLETE STRANGERS!!! God is just using Oprah to show the world how it's done. Love your neighbor as yourself. Milton Jones said this at church just 2 weeks ago. You would know someone loved you if they did for you what they did for themselves. Oprah is doing exactly that by giving away her favorite things. And you know it makes her happy because you see it on her face when the audience sqeals with delight. That's the way to do it. Do it because it makes you happy, not to impress or not to get anything in return.

I want Oprah to love me! And I want to love people the way she does, but within more humble means!

Body Image-Rated M

2007-11-16T23:21:00.000-06:00

So the other night things got "close" with me and the hubby. Not that I should be blogging about this, but all I kept thinking about was me.

I'm not eye candy by any means! I've been blessed to get back into my jeans after both babies, and that's about it. However, I've lost some, what should I call it,...suspension (?) in some areas? Front and rear. I guess that's to be expected of nursing mothers. I don't understand the rear. I didn't have much there to begin with! I'm lucky to be able to bathe everyday, needless to say I don't get a chance to shave my legs--thankfully, I'm not hairy AT ALL! I also dont' get to do my hair. It air dries and I put in a ponytail and always, always, NO makeup! So all of this on top of not being eye candy. I'm bony. I think people may think I'm anorexic or something. all the contrary! I eat, and eat, and eat! I'm not bulemic either! I keep it all down. My weight is right on target for my height, but I hate being bony! Any meat I have on my bones has no shape. When I say no shape I mean I don't have roundness about it; it's just sort of "splat". I told my hubby I need a butt lift and implant, calf inplants, thigh implants, boob lift (thx to nursing, no implant needed). I'm serious! He thinks I'm playing! I saw an anorexic girl on Dr. Phil today and as skinny and bony as she was, she had some shape!

GOD at work

2007-11-10T00:10:00.000-06:00

I came straight here from reading a bunch of replies to my professor's blog. It had to do with one's fate or destiny vs. luck. I read one girl's reply. It said GOD gives us choices, but he knows which choice we will make. She calls luck blessings. Made me think of my son and how I got where I am now.

I always said I only wanted 2 kids; while my husband wanted 4. After having our daughter Naomi, reality hit us. While 2 kids still seemed do-able, it would be hard for us, given everything we wanted for Naomi. Living in a city where public schools often make the local news headlines, we knew we'd put her in a private school...Preferably a Christian private school. Plus, we want her to be well rounded so obviously she'd have lots of extra-curricular activities-from music and dance to sports to enrichment academics, as well as community and church involvement. Of course, I'd want to be there for all of it! So after considering all of this and seeing just how much money we were spending already, just a couple of months after her birth, we decided that she would be our only child. This decision became final when she was about 8 months. Little did we know GOD had other plans. It seems GOD knew we were serious and decided to bless us with another pregnancy just days after this decision. Between work and home and mommy duties, I was trying to get that phone call in to my OBGYN for an appointment to get me on long term birth control, so He had to be pretty quick! We became pregnant with our son in September 2006. I'm sure it was just days after conception that I had a very strange dream; in it I had a son named Daniel. We didn't find out we were pregnant until November when I realized something was missing. After that discovery, I had another dream; in it I had a son named Daniel. So we were happy and thanked God for this blessing...We knew it was His will and would never be upset with it. Afterall, it would be a good thing for Naomi, if nothing else. The night before the "big" sonogram I had a dream about a baby boy; in it his name was Daniel. It's funny because of all these dreams I don't remember details except his name was Daniel. The sonogram confirmed my suspisions: we were going to have a baby brother for Naomi.

Rewind to the summer. Jesus was looking for a job closer to home so he wouldn't have to commute 1 hour one way to work everyday. He found a job, but his current job didn't let him quit, offering a nice raise in salary and company car with gas! He couldn't turn that down, so he stayed.

Now, fast-forward to June 2007. Our son is born. I argue with Jesus that we need to name him Daniel and I explain why. He doesnt' want to arguing that he doesnt' like that name or that a dream is only just a dream and not a message from GOD. My reply to that is: Well then why dream it 3 times, once even before we knew we were pregnant and all three dreams the baby is Daniel? I won!! We had a beautiful son and we named him Daniel.

I went on maternity leave, of course, and kids were going to go to daycare. We knew it was going to be very expensive, but I had to work. With a mortgage and a car payment there was no way I could stay home. My first day back at work was August 28. Noami loved going to school! She had fun with all the kids! Daniel was having a hard time adjusting to his new environment. After the 1st week, Naomi was done with school. She missed the one on one we had at home and at Brenda's before baby came. She cried when we would pul lup in the school's parking lot. Daniel was better. Then came time for payment for daycare. It was scary...we kew I'd have to stay home. But now wasn't the time.

My company had tickets to a women's health conference that was being held in Spanish. They didn't have anyone that could benefit from them since spanish speaking employees are very much a minority there, so they offered them to me. I accepted. The keynote speaker spoke about a woman's confidence and self-esteem. She spoke right to me, even though my situation had little to do with my confidence and self-esteem. She said there was something I wanted to and needed to do that was putting off. She said I was making excuses: The time is not right. The following monday I went to work and gave my 2 week notice, after having discussed it with Jesus. My last day was October 5. I was a stay-at-home mom! My dream come true!

During those 2 weeks, Jesus knew he had to get a job closer to home since I would be staying home and it would be better for the family, so he made a few calls. After just a couple of days, he found a company with an opening. He went and spoke with the manager only the Saturday after I gave my notice at work. Everything went very well and Jesus gave his notice at work the following Monday. This time they let him go. He was losing a free car and gas, but he was getting quite a raise where he was coming to and he'd be closer to us.

Now what do you think? Is it God at work or what? Everything that has happened to us God has made happen. We just had to be patient and let Him do what He's good at in His own time. So far, everything has worked out. The mortgage and car payments have been made...God is taking care of us.

PRAISE GOD!

LIFE

2007-11-06T16:28:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking about death lately...Not because I'm depressed or anything, but because of my babies...What will happen to them if both Jesus and I were to pass? I don't know that I would want them with his parents, or that he would want them with mine. For 2 reasons actually. 1) They're both too old to have babies. 2) Jesus doesn't like my parents' parenting style and I don't like his! We have both agreed that our siblings wouldn't be good candidates either. So that leaves our babies orphaned and in the middle of a custody fight! We're in the process of buying life insurance...but what will money do for them as young as they are now? Only make the fight nastier! So we need to draw up a will and leave them to somebody we trust and know will love them and raise them as we would have...But who? We have to pray about it! Help us in praying for the answer!

On top of leaving our kids, I wonder if God has forgiven me yet...I still haven't gotten that peace! Am I missing something?

Feel free to comment even if you don't know me...This is why I have made this blog available. maybe God has someone out there for me with the answer...

Jewelry Lady!!

2006-09-04T17:38:00.000-05:00

So...I'm becoming one!! A jewelry lady, I mean...I will beselling premier jewelry! I hope my peeps will support me..LADIES!? :) It's kind of expensive to get started, but I think it will pay off...You what I like most about it? Is that it is a Christian based company...I know! Isn't it great!

On a different note, it hasn't happened yet... :( I guess it will when it's supposed to?

You all still want a picture posted don't you? I'll get one up soon enough! :)

When is it my turn?

2006-08-28T22:38:00.000-05:00

So every Christian I know has been "saved". What about me? I guess I don't know if I'm a true Christian, but I want to be if I'm not! What is the definition of a Christian, anyhow? Okay, so a Christian believes in GOD, trusts in GOD, serves & worships GOD...That sounds like a lot, doesn't it? I think it would be har to get there. I'll be honest and say I have a hard time letting go. Basically, by doing all of the above, one is letting go of any control over his/her life. But I want to be there. Idon't want to worry about anything! I want to be able to just be carefree! My fear and most agonizing worry, however, is that of not being saved...I don't recall a time when I have felt that peace many Christians talk about. Sometimes, like today, I get angry with GOD because of that. I know everything he does is done in his own time, but I'm afraid to die and not be "saved". Is that a logical fear? Would he let me die and not saved me from the "origianl sin" and every other sin I've commited? I like to think he wouldn't just let me die knowing I'm looking for that peace and that salvation. AGONIZING!